Weirdest. Night. EVAR.
It was the first time I did pills. I was in a club at the time (as one usually is on these occasions), and nothing seemed to be happening for a while, but at some point when the DJ put on a CHOON, I started to go "fackin'... YEAH!!!" like Billy off that Phones 4 U advert¹ and started to bounce around off the walls like a complete tit while waving my arms around and yelling "WOO!!! YEAH!!!!!"

That was only the start of the night (16 hours to be precise) - apart from a dim recollection of enthusing to someone about "negative red" paint, much of what happened in the intervening time is a blur, but some evidence of what I'd done became evident in the following month or so - I got all manner of things through the mail for 'Marcus Brigstoke', who by the looks of things was a happily-married man expecting his first child, looking for new furniture, and holding subscriptions to about half a dozen DeAgostini monthlies.² Strange that he'd lived all this time in my flat without me ever meeting him! Maybe he was hiding in the loft....

But the weirdest thing of all was when I came down the next day; I'd gone, head spinning, into what I thought was a club, was amazed that there was no bouncer on the door (given that I was obviously under 21 and wearing trainers to boot), and had gone into a little cubicle to light up a fag. I didn't have one. Or any tobacco. Or a lighter. Fucksocks! But what there was in that cubicle was a bit of paper with some names and stuff on it; there was also a pen nearby, attached to the wall to stop people nicking it. After unsuccessfully trying to unscrew the pen, in case there was any tobacco inside, I read the names again, and the instructions. I followed the instructions, made my mark on on the paper, dropped it in the collection box outside, and solemnly bid everyone present good night. (It was mid-day.)

A few weeks later, on the news, I see this and think: Jesus H. Christ, I was (partly) responsible for that! I am never doing pills again!

¹ A strange coincidence, seeing as that advert had not been aired at the time. That advert really does give me the fear: I reckon Billy is me, aged 35.
² Not I Love Horses though.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 19 Dec 2005, 22:35, Reply)