In Mexico, just outside the Mayan ruins of Palenque
The road from the campsites to the ruins is twisty, and there is deep jungle all along one side. As you walk along this road to the ruins, small Mayan men beckon to you from the jungle and offer to sell you fresh mexican mushrooms.
I was with my girlfriend and a friend, and on this particular day, i was brave enough to eat a 100 peso bag to myself. We explored the ruins as we began to come up on the mushrooms, but then i suggested we take a walk through the jungle around the ruins. We walked along a jungle trail for fifteen munites or so, marvelling at the beauty of nature. Suddenly, we heard a deafening roar coming from around the corner we had just come from. We all froze and tried to think what it could be. I remembered that this jungle was renowned for having jaguars in it. We stood there in shock for a couple more minutes, and more roars sounded even closer. If this was jaguars, it was a whole pack of them, not just one. I noticed a Mayan guy walking by on a nearby path, and asked him in pigeon Spanish what the noises were. He just laughed at me. It didn't help that his eyes appeared to me to be solid white.
We quickly made the decision that we didn't want to go deeper into the jungle, and would have to go back towards the noises, as at least we knew that path led back to civilisation. I got out my camera, planning to use the flash to scare off all of the hungry beasts which i was sure were about to jump us. As we rounded the corner, we saw...... nothing. There was a ravine beside the path, and the roaring was definitely coming from down there, but we couldn't see any beasts. Deciding it was best not to look to far, we hastily made our way back to the ruin site. When we got back to the camp site, one of the staff told us that howler monkeys are also very common around there, and that they sound exactly like large cats roaring.

My friend then persuaded me to have another half a 100 peso bag with him, and we lay on hammocks and had a beer and a couple of spliffs. An hour later it was my round, and i rather shakily went to the bar to buy beers. I asked the bar woman (who to me looked just like Pocahontas) for three beers, but as she turned back with the beers and i reached out for them, i noticed that her eyes had tesselating patterns in their centres. Deciding that this was nothing to worry about, i took the beers, but by then the patterns had spread throughout her whole face. I took a deep breath, but couldn't turn away. The patterns were now spreading down her neck ,and starting to shift and colour cycle. I could now see the patterns more clearly than her face. Mayan hieroglyphs introduced themselves to the medley of patterns, and soon the patterns were all i could see.
Next think i knew, i was being fed water by my concerned girlfriend, some distance away from the bar. Apparently i had stood with the beers in my hand, slack-jawed and staring at the woman for at least a couple of minutes before fainting completely and covering myself with beer.
Going back sheepishly into the bar, i realised that the woman wasn't very much like Pocahontas at all. She was short, fat and very pregnant, and looking at me like i was scum. I had forgotten to pay her.

Mexican mushies? Much recommended.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Tue 20 Dec 2005, 13:41, Reply)