Heartless
I was reluctant, but a friend prevailed upon me: "She's a sweet gal. Doesn't get out much. Besides, she has a heart condition. They don't expect her to live long." I felt a twinge of pity.

She seemed nice. "Doctors use me as a demonstrator to their students," she explained. After we grabbed some medicine, we jumped into my car to head to the bar.

Trouble started right away. She was disappointed that I didn't burn rubber and squeal while accelerating out of the parking lot. I explained that my VW Bug was an automatic stick-shift model that couldn't do that even if we tried.

She was at death's door and she was going to go out in a burst of flame. At the bar, she started hitting on all the dudes. She was only too happy to dump me for some muscle-headed lout. Probably with a muscle car. Probably burned donuts into some back parking lot before squealing off into the night.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 20:06, 6 replies)

Her heart was obviously in the wrong place.

(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 20:34, closed)

I've read it plenty of Honda Accord stories in my time, and I must say
YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 20:37, closed)

Hahahahahahaahaha
You drive an automatic car!
ROFL
( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 21:20, closed)

It's not an automatic.
It's an autostick. A comedy automatic clutch that VW put into some beetles for colonials on account of their biological inability to use two feet independently.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 21:32, closed)

A clever post-Nazi eugenics tool
Limits our mating displays and saves rubber.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 21:45, closed)

"squealing off into the night"
seems particularly appropriate here.
(ubergeekian, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 22:52, closed)