wow! i've never had a pearoast before...
At uni, a girl who I had the misfortune of being drunk with and pulling, big mistake, asked me out in the kebab shop later that evening. I told her no. She asked again. I told her no. This went on for a while until I eventually caved, thinking, "well it's about to be the Easter holidays, I'll dump her without ever having seen her."

This was all well and good, and I got on the train the next morning home. A week of her texting, and me replying sporadically and ignoring her phone calls, I was thinking I was doing an ace job of putting her off me.

One evening, I did happen to answer her call, the conversation went something like this: Her “What are you up to?" Me “nothing much, working tonight, got tomorrow off, working the day after." Her “That’s good; I've booked a train to see you tomorrow!" Me"..." Her ”hello?" me"...Err, that sounds... nice..." Hang up. Me "Fuckbeans..."

The next day, she arrived, and I showed her round my home city (Oxford), doing my best to not give off 'I fancy you' vibes. These consisted of: Not touching her Answering her very abruptly Buying a drink and not offering her one This list is by no means exhaustive!

Anyway, come the evening, I take her to my place of work, in the hope that if we were surrounded by friends, then she wouldn't be able to get her lady claws into me. This worked, and I eventually had to take her to her train.

"Yay!" I think, "I have finally gotten rid of her"

Until I get a phone call ten minutes later, "The train you put me on is delayed, and I have to come back, which will be too late for the last train. Can I stay at yours?"

Of course, being a gent, I say this is fine, I don't want to leave a girl stranded in an unfamiliar city, no matter how little I want to go out with her. So I go and pick her up, and take her back to my house, where a couple of friends are waiting to laugh at me. The plan was to get her drunk so she passed out, and I didn't have to talk to her anymore. The plan worked a charm, and the next day I carted her off to the train station and got her on the correct train.

A few texts about how she enjoyed herself later, and I feel pretty pissed off, she should have hated it!

Then, one night I get a text.

Her “this isn't really working as well as it used to, is it?" Me “not really, although, I never really thought it was working" Her “well you could have said something earlier; anyway, it means I can make it official with someone here at home."

I left it at that. But it did make me feel slightly aggrieved, that while I was doing my best chauvinist pig routine, to get myself dumped, she was cheating on me!

The Bitch!

Length? About two weeks, sadly, at the time my longest ever relationship, even though I spent the whole time trying to get dumped...
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Sat 5 Jan 2013, 0:31, 12 replies)

Pretty horrific this is.
Getting a young girl in a strange city drugged up.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 4:23, closed)

Being gay doesn't mean you have to be the Literal Nazi.
I think you'll find he got her pissed (drunk), not drugged up. He did also point out that he did make sure that she was not left alone in a strange city. I guess we're taking his word that it was all "above board".
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 5 Jan 2013, 5:28, closed)

there are literal nazis as well, now?!
In fairness, this is qotw, so you should know I'm telling the truth because I DIDN'T have sex with her all night long, do massive drugs or drive a Honda Accord.

I also get no revenge later down the line. Life carried on as usual.
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Sat 5 Jan 2013, 9:00, closed)

According to me there
are.
"Above Boardness" confirmed then. Since you say so. ;P
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 5 Jan 2013, 9:23, closed)

What does being gay have to do with it?
What's the difference if he got her so drunk she passed out, or if he gave her any of a number of other drugs that she passed out?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 10:25, closed)

You're arguing with a charmless dick-ache who is trying to defend another charmless dick-ache.
I'm not sure anything constructive can come out of this.

Also - I'm delighted to hear that you've finally come out of the closet. Good luck in your new man-love adventures.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 10:28, closed)

It's a refreshing change, though
to hear of someone getting a girl drunk in order not to have sex with her. It's a sort of anti-date-rape.
(ubergeekian, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:36, closed)

Did not enough people point out that you're a charmless and infantile dickweed the first time you posted this?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 9:48, closed)

You massive charmless dickweed.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 13:31, closed)

Word on the street is you're a massive charmless dickweed.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 5 Jan 2013, 19:39, closed)

I heard on the grapevine that you're a massive dickless charmweed.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 14:29, closed)

I heard that you have a massive dick
and some weed.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 19:32, closed)