"It's not you, it's me",
She said just after she'd dropped the bombshell that she was leaving. This was around midnight, after I'd turned down a night out with some mates and stayed off the beer all night in order to go and pick her up from her friends house.

Turned out she was right; it wasn't me who'd been shagging someone else for six months. So at least she was being honest on that score.

On reflection, my reaction at the time should have transcended the metaphorical kick in the testes I'd just received and instead of begging for reasons why, I should have just said "Well, if I'd have known you were going to come out with that I'd have got pissed and you could have fucking walked home, then".

Still, she died nearly three years ago, so I got the better end of the stick in the end. Plus, the missus has better tits.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 18:32, 24 replies)

Photographic breast comparison, then we'll be the judge, thank you.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 19:03, closed)

The first one's been dead three years,
she'll look like Gillian McKeith. You sicko.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 19:21, closed)

I'd have a go with Gillian mcKeith.
There's something about her...
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 19:31, closed)

aye
flies
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 20:01, closed)

PHWOAR!

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 10 Jan 2013, 7:33, closed)

Right up there with 'she then got raped and killed herself' in the Internet Classiness stakes.
Needless to say, you had the last last laugh here.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 19:45, closed)

I'm being flippant on the internet, oh noes!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 19:50, closed)

It's alright, I'm glad that someone you had sex with is dead too.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 19:52, closed)

We actually got on very well after our split.
I certainly wouldn't have wished that on her. I met someone else, so did she, and if we had stayed together I'd have been a widower at the age of 39 - not something I'd have been happy about, frankly.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 19:55, closed)

You terrible bastard.
Fancy being all grown up and reflective about this. You should be an indignant mass of 'WELL SHE DESERVED IT' by now.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 7:44, closed)

He's just not playing fair with this 'reasoned response' bullshit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 8:14, closed)

I'm not, am I?
Inconsiderate bastard that I am.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 10 Jan 2013, 8:51, closed)

You should save that one for when the missus tells you she's been shagging around for six months
which will be in about ... *counts on fingers* ... two months.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 19:54, closed)

You need fingers to count?
In MY day they'd have been burnt on a oven ring.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 20:00, closed)

Oh man. I bet you wished you'd written something funny instead of ... whatever the fuck that was.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 20:01, closed)

Nah, we're totally solid, man.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 10 Jan 2013, 9:18, closed)

The missus has better tits?
Did she know you were fucking some loose slattern (RIP, WIV DA ANGLEZ)?
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 20:41, closed)

Current missus whom I met some 18 months after the break up.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 10 Jan 2013, 8:49, closed)

To be fair, your current missus does have a cracking pair of norks.
Just saying, like.
;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 10 Jan 2013, 1:21, closed)

I can attest to this.
Not to mention being a really funny and sweet person.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 10 Jan 2013, 6:38, closed)

still, at least she's dead, eh? EH?
needless to say, etc
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 4:21, closed)

Calm down, Janet.
Think of Mark Chadwick and take deep breaths.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 10 Jan 2013, 8:50, closed)

Interestingly enough I've just been reading up on the Levellers on Wiki.
This bit amused me:

""Rolling anarchy" is a trademarked symbol of the band".
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 13:23, closed)

it's the symbol formed by three interlocking sickels
I used to have it drawn on my schoolbag, back in the day
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:24, closed)