James Brown
Well, not THE James Brown, but a much skinnier lookalike that dresses in a very similar way, and sticks out in my small English town like the jive-talking expatriate sore thumb he clearly is.

He would have a top-flight strut going on were it not for the fact that something is obviously wrong with his left knee, so his unbending leg flails in an elliptical orbit at roughly a 35 degree angle out from his body.

One day, I spotted him out and about, slowly quarter-cartwheeling his way towards the bus stop. He was clearly in a world of his own, as he barely registered the unfortunate 7-year old in the path of his whirling limb, and clocked him in the solar plexus. The kid looked utterly confused and shocked, as JB snapped out of his reverie, and fixing him with a glare, bawled "y'all best be MOVING when I'm on rambling time, motherFUCKER!". Then, all that was left to be observed was the sight of the angry mother swooping in from nowhere, and smacking JB upside his head with a Lidl bag.

It was an ace little sideshow.
( the_other_jeff_lebowski Croutons on my tits, Sat 1 Nov 2008, 3:10, 7 replies)

This sounds
amazing!
(Jeremy Paxmans Itchy Gusset, Sat 1 Nov 2008, 10:32, closed)

This made me laugh out loud:
"y'all best be MOVING when I'm on rambling time, motherFUCKER!"

Gold.
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Sat 1 Nov 2008, 10:52, closed)

Me too
I actually laughed for a good solid minute.

*click*
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Sun 2 Nov 2008, 12:35, closed)

i
love this sentence.
(unciebana It's good, but it's not right., Sun 2 Nov 2008, 19:51, closed)

*click*
Just for that one sentence...glad I'm all alone in the office - much giggling and snorting (not that kind though...)
( snee held his breath since, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 15:33, closed)

this should win
there's a black guy in Kilburn (in his late 50s/60s I'd guess) who appears to have beamed straight down from Uncle George Clinton's Funkadelc Mothership.

Purple velvet pimp suits and wicked bright blue funky shades. It's like he's fallen through some kind of time-hole in mid-70s Harlem.

What a dude.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 16:54, closed)

Excellent!
JB is never seen out of Brown circa-1963 attire, much like this:

www.kalamu.com/bol/wp-content/content/images/james%20brown%2012.jpg

But with a proper slicked-down haircut...
( the_other_jeff_lebowski Croutons on my tits, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:03, closed)