WELCOME TO THE PAIN TRAIN!
I think I must've been about six or seven. You know, that age where you do silly things that could potentially kill you but it never really sinks in until much later on in life.

Anyhoo. I was on one of those fancy sleeper train things hurtling across the south of France, upto my armpits in x-men comics and warm coca-cola. The only kind of coca-cola you have on any kind of extended journey.

So yes, the family was all there about to hit the proverbial hay and all that, when I felt that all to familiar tingling in my bladder. Too much warm coke, felt like a balloon was filling up inside of me. So yes, I dragged my sorry behind out of bed and blearily made my way to the loo.

After relieving myself, I was caught in one of those weird inter-section like parts of train, the bits between the carriages and there was no obvious indication as to how I'd made my way there. I went upto one door and it was locked and had a blacked out window. I went to the other and it similarly had a blacked out window. I tried the door on this and WHOOOOOOSH!!!

There was the French countryside in all it's 100mph glory. Ah yes, and my life flashing before my eyes. That didn't take very long as I recall. I was only 8. Only so many memories of birthday parties and power rangers episodes to go around really.

But yes, I was clinging onto the door for dear life, feeling my grip slip away, knowing that my brief life was coming to an end. Then my mum grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and pulled me back inside. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SPIDERSLUT, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!" I was jabbering whilst my father went completely ballistic at the train guards. "LE FUCKING DOOR-PORT, WHAT LE FUCK?!" etc etc. French was never his strong suit.

So yes, we were moved to first class and all was well. But yeah, it beat alton towers.

Apologies for the length.
(spiderslut, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 14:22, 5 replies)

The wife just 'shushed' me (not a euphemism)...
...for laughing like a twat at"LE FUCKING DOOR-PORT, WHAT LE FUCK?!"!! Good story. Clicked.
(Tighthead, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 14:34, closed)

Have a click
for WHAT LE FUCK alone
(Vainomoinen went looking for the Sampo on, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 15:11, closed)

Quality!
You get clicks just for "WHAT LE FUCK?!" .. Brilliant!
(MrNorm, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 16:14, closed)

Great story

(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 16:53, closed)

I was about to reply
thinking I'd be the first to like "WHAT LE FUCK?"
but of course I'm not alone. Good work and, er, glad you're still here.
( sanityclause is waiting until, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 14:42, closed)