no seatbelt, Drove through telephone pole, drunk and cops still gave me a ride home -- off scott free!
So, I'm 17. Out at a nightclub where I met a lovely bartender which I ended up shagging a few weeks later -- anyway, this night we met and she bought me drinks ALL night. Cue 2 am, driving home, no seat belt, and fell asleep at the wheel. Awoke to a tremendously loud BANG! and blurred visions of small sapling trees going by the car windows. Another tree. BANG. full stop.

Car in front of me noticed I drove of the road and stopped. They were kind enough to ask if I was alright (which I was, strangely, besides the concussion from the windscreen I hit) -- then they pointed out the Telephone pole completely across the street -- Apparently I had driven right through it. Cops showed up. Another lovely female and she had me sit in her car (it was cold). Came in, interviewed me and casually asked if I had anything to drink. I lied and said ONE beer and feel asleep because I was up all drink previously studying for final exams. She let me off, and even drove me home. Oh, and the car had perfect semi-circle in the front of the car, from the telephone pole.
(gaustoninDC, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 19:16, 12 replies)

You dick.
You could have killed someone. You should have been banged up and lost your licence. This is not something to be proud of.
(The man with the flan swashed his buckle on, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 19:21, closed)

It's a pity you survived.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 20 Aug 2010, 19:36, closed)

Irony
Coming from "Drunk driver of the year..."
( Scrumper, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 20:15, closed)

That's only there to upset a bunch of autisms.
*Slow handclap*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 20 Aug 2010, 20:31, closed)

It's Ok,
You'll get faster with practice.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 15:30, closed)

...
x2
(django0909, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 19:36, closed)

I thought this post was a pisstake destined to end in Honda Accord
when it started with 'I totally shagged a gorgeous bar wench'.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 19:48, closed)

It's not the drink driving that I hate about this story
Nor is it the matey, knowing comments about "lovely females." It's not even the nonsense of "...ALL night" followed by you leaving at 2am, nor is it the fact that it's clearly a load of flying, hairy bollocks.

I can cope with all that.

But "cue?" No, no, no.
( Scrumper, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 20:13, closed)

I disagree with a previous post, I'm glad you weren't killed.
Now, hopefully, you can die of cancer or something equally amusing.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 20:40, closed)

gaustoninDC is 40 years old
So possibly drink driving in Washington DC, 1987 may have not been such a taboo.

However, to promote this behavior in the QOTW makes you, gaustoninDC, a fucking cock munching cunt.
(PassTheKhat, Sat 21 Aug 2010, 3:42, closed)

You're my hero
Not cos of the drink driving, cos of the people you wound up. Genius!
(rampants, Sat 21 Aug 2010, 11:37, closed)

There's a difference between thinking someone is a cunt and being wound up by said cunt

(PassTheKhat, Sun 22 Aug 2010, 14:56, closed)