Lesson learned. Pay my taxis all the way home.
The other night I had to get a taxi home from work as the buses didn't go my way at that time and I can't drive. It's been about a year since I had to take one home but my god have the fares gone up! I'm only ten minutes down the road but it was rising to over a tenner by the looks of it.

Now I live at the end of a country road so thought, why not stop here and just walk back in the nice twilight? So I pay him the high high fare and set off. It's a nice night, the air is fresh and I have a sausage roll to munch. I stroll off happily, humming wee songs to myself. Only to round the corner and come face to face with a young bull. Ah crap. And two babies whose mother is standing behind the fence they'd escaped from mooing at me in a very threatening manner. And the daddy bull beside the mother who is so big he could crush the fence he's behind with his ears.

So I stop and stand. They moo at me and the bullock walks on a little bit. I rustle my bag and walk on a bit. He walks on a bit. And so on. I was making very slow and very scared progress. The farms are ahead of me and so are the cows. I phone my brother, who agrees to come and meet me on the road.

By this point it's getting dark and I should have been home already. Instead I'm terrified of getting squished and there's nowhere to run as the fields all have very big bulls in them. Watching me. Mooing, deep and low. Moooooooooh. Moooooooooh.

A corner comes and I round it. Buggery hells! No fences not covered in thick hedge and no gates but the bullock has vanished! Hooray! So I start to make my quicker way home. In the dark. A lone girl, by myself, with no houses nearby to spot me. Ah crap crap crap.

I get scared again. And there, in front of me, stands a lone man. A shadow in the night. He's stopped, watching me. Dare I pass? Shit. What do I do?

Wait, is it my brother? The man stares.

"Eh.... Is that you?"

"Yes!"

"Why didn't you call out?!"

"I tried but my phone has no signal."

"No, shout my name! All I saw was a man watching me in the dark!"

"Oh. Sorry!"

"Why didn't you move?"

"I thought you were a cow."

So we make our way back home together, passing the little house with the two barking dogs in the garden. I mention that I'm grateful for their garden fence when my brother suddenly starts and says, "aah! One's out!"

Sure enough, heeeere it comes charging and massive, snarling and growling. Oh great. I missed being squashed by ten million bulls (and one cow) and being kidnapped in the night. Now I'm going to be eaten to death by a dog.

I start in a tizzy. "Eeeeh!" "Don't run!" shouts my brother. I freeze in a very odd position of panic, one leg in the air and my bag over my head. Am I allowed to move? Luckily it stood it's ground and under the advice of my brother we slowly carry on walking home. Where I put on my pyjamas, make myself a huuuuuge cup of tea and have a nice sit down.

All that to save two quid. Never again!
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 15:55, 4 replies)

I suspect that the 'bulls' in question were not bulls.
I almost guarantee you that they were heifers and you thought they were bulls because of their lack of udders.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:20, closed)

I concur
You just don't get fields full of bulls, they don't like one another let alone other people - it would have been just some weird horned type special cows... can you tell I am well versed in the country arts!
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:31, closed)

There were three bulls in total. Three very close together fields. When terrified this is far too many!
And they were very much bulls. Certain dangley.... evidence told me this straight. Living in the country all my life has taught me some things. =p
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 23:31, closed)

lovely image
of you in your panic position with a bag on your head. You get a click just for that!
(Smale is stuffed, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:16, closed)