Phew!
I’d fallen in love with Wendolene after visiting her wool shop many times. She was beautiful, just my cup of tea. One Saturday I paid her a visit in her shop, just so I could flirt with her. After this particular visit, I went home with my trusty dog to find my house in a complete fucking mess. The culprit? A sheep who escaped from a farmers truck the previous night. I felt sorry for him and decided to clean him up, but due to the fact I was very hungover, I sheared him down a bit too much. I decided to adopt him as a way of saying sorry.

Now Wendolene also had a dog. I sensed it was jealous of my dog; he wasn’t concerned with sniffing my dog’s arse, more with trying to bite him. This agitated my dog a bit too much and he bit someone. Fortunately, he didn’t have to be put down, but he got put in a kennel for life. I still blame Wendolene’s dog for this as it wound up my dog so much. However, I missed my dog a lot so I sneaked into the kennel and cut through the bars of his cell with an electric buzz saw, setting him free. Wendolene was very upset about her dogs behaviour and took him to obedience school but to no avail. Instead, her dog rounded on her and a load of sheep whilst she was walking him through a field one day. He was so angry, Wendolene thought she might die. She rang me in tears on her mobile.

I answered, heard how worried she was and gave chase on my motorbike with my dog in the sidecar. We soon ended up separated; my dog flew off a 2000 foot drop ledge, but fortunately activated the sidecar's plane mode and carried safely on. He found the field where Wendolene was then attacked her dog. Meanwhile, I attempted to free Wendolene and the sheep from the field, but ended up trapped there myself. Wendolene’s dog was going fucking mental by this point.

My dog saw we were in trouble and attacked Wendolene’s dog head on. He was backing him into a sheep pen. Eventually we forced him into it and pushed him against an electric sheep shearer, giving Wendolene’s dog a scare and a quick haircut. By now, he was completely manic. He jumped out of the pen and advanced on me, Wendolene, and the sheep. Again, my dog pounced, this time pushing him onto a sharp peg, killing him instantly as it punctured his ribs.
What a close shave.

Signed,
Wallace
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:36, 2 replies)

I picked this in the first sentence.
but lovely job!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:39, closed)

Same as above
Change Wendolene to W and you should be able to get away with it for a little longer.

*click* though, very nice!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:49, closed)