I killed my grandfather...
My paternal grandparents used to live - when they lived at all, that is - in a house with a large garden. And when I say "large", I mean "measured in acres" kind of large. It was ace; there were lots of rocky bits, coppices, paths through bushes and so on - everything a child could need for hours of adventure.

An obvious trope was to hide behind a bush or rock, wait for someone to come past, and yell "BOO!" at them. One day, that's exactly what I did to my grandfather.

My grandfather, I knew, had a slightly weak heart. I didn't take this into account. I was young.

I could see him coming; I crouched in a clump of bracken. Closer... closer... closer...



"BOO!"

My grandfather looked startled for a moment - but only for a moment. He fell. He stayed fallen.
"Oh, Jesus H Macy; I've fucking killed Grandad," I would have thought had I not been only 9. "Oh, bother, I've flipping well killed Grandad," is what I probably did think.

Not knowing what else to do, I simply looked at his very still body for what looked like hours but can only have been seconds.
"Grandad?" I ventured. "Are you all right? Can you hear me? Grandad?"

Nothing.

More nothing.

Pinteresque nothing.





















"BOO!" he yelled.

I was the one who had a heart attack that day.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 9:46, 8 replies)

*Clicks*
Winner!
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 10:08, closed)

vocabtastic
I was clicking purely for the use of the word "trope". (Then I saw who was writing it and realised I shouldn't have been surprised.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 10:39, closed)

@crackhouse
Awww... thanks. I'll take that in the spirit that my ego believes it was meant.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 10:44, closed)

*clicks*
I laughed and got dodgy looks from my boss the true sign of a great story!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 11:55, closed)

clicky click
hahahaha!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 12:06, closed)

Fantastic!
Just the sort of thing I plan on doing when and if I ever have grandchildren...

Once again, I am compelled to click for you, Mister Enzyme:

*enclickens*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 12:55, closed)

*bows down*
I applaud you!

(well, your grandad)
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 13:37, closed)

It's not very often
that the word "Pinteresque" is used in QOTW.

I feel that your grandad should be taken as a role model for all.
(Exiled Youth [witty comment], Mon 17 Dec 2007, 7:47, closed)