Definitly the worst...
Mother nature is the most evil prankster there is. At the age of 42 when all my bits are saggy and I'm no longer nubile and unsullied it's given me a raging libido that Jack Nicholson would be hard pressed to keep up with. Where was it 20 years ago when I was unlined and unfettered by control knickers and anti-aging products, when all I wanted to do in bed was sleep for 10 hours and only alcohol made me gagging for it.

Tis a cruel, cruel thing is mother nature.

Here I am climbing the walls having reached my sexual peak and I'm too old for the young guys and too old for the old guys. By the time I've saved up for plastic surgery I'll be in my fifties and even further down the pecking order of totty.

And all cold showers do is make my nipples stand to attention!

Blah!
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 11:55, 18 replies)

Get in the queue!
These cold showers - are there any pics?
( Farmer Geddon - is on his way., Tue 18 Dec 2007, 12:18, closed)

I have to say
that cold showers have the same effect on me - and not just my nipples.

(not that I expect my nipples to be as big as BGBs of course, what with me being a bloke and all that!)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 12:21, closed)

*Giggle*
Yes, life is the cruellest prankster of all. I remember splitting from the ex, after a 2 month enforced period of general mopy-ness (is that a word?) I pulled myself up, dusted myself down and partied hard. I also pulled more women than was reasonable thanks to a new found couldn't give a toss attitude. Unfortunately I was doped up on Prozac at the time, and a side effect that I suffered as a result was the total inability to manage anything when I got them home.

Bugger!

Oh, and *click*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Dec 2007, 12:25, closed)

Tis true
As a general observation, once a lady passes into that magical threshold beyond her twenties she generally becomes too hot to handle.

The irony is that so many female pals still in their twenties have a dread of hitting the big three-oh, but trepidation does not last long.

Here's to the frisky thirty/forty somethings in our lives who give us something to smile about.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 18 Dec 2007, 12:27, closed)

Me, I prefer older women anyway.
(By older I mean over the age of 35, by the way.)

And why is this? Let me count the reasons...

Girls in their twenties are often looking for husband material. They want the house with the white picket fence and the babies and the husband who will barbecue in the back yard on weekends and all the rest of that Barbie-and-Ken shit. Well, I've already done my time with that and have no interest in doing it ever again, thanks.

Girls in their twenties often try to use sex to manipulate us guys. I won't say anything further than that, as it would come off as bitter and misogynistic, but you know of what I speak.

Women in their 30s and 40s don't have these agendas going on, having been through a bit of life themselves, and put a lot less baggage on sex. They've also been around enough to have some idea of what to do in bed- so there are fewer inhibitions and much better sex all around.

When I see guys my age trying to get the young twentysomethings I inwardly chuckle. You can have 'em, guys. Look at it this way: which is better, listening to a teenager playing a Stradivarius or having Itzhak Perlman playing a second-hand violin? No contest, in my mind...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 18 Dec 2007, 12:54, closed)

Thank you everyone but....
Evilscary - it's too late for that warning.

Farmergeddon - It's a rule of mine never to send pics of my boobs over the internet. Not for all the tea in China matey.

PJM - always the gentleman!

The Residant Loon - thank God you didn't compare me to a banjo!
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 13:01, closed)

I agree with the Loon
I am of the opinion that very few people below the age of 25 are capable of conversation - although I am lucky enough to know a few exceptions to that rule.

As a man approaching his mid 30s, I find myself looking for intelligence, wit and sparkle in a partner. Women in their 30s/40s are still capable of being very attractive, with the added bonus of being worldly and dropping much of the pretense and bullshit that goes with the younger versions.

The amount of twenty somethings who've dicked me about and who have very little to say for themselves is depressing.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 18 Dec 2007, 13:06, closed)

*Click*
Although 42 is NOT OLD.
( my_cat_has_no_shoes meh meh meh MEH MEH, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 13:17, closed)

greatest EVER lonely hearts ad
you should put that in hot tickets or sumfink

gave me a lazy one anyway
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 13:28, closed)

For what it's worth
IMO, having plastic surgery will not improve your appearance*. It will just make you look like you've had plastic surgery.

Better to leave the saggy bits where they are - at least it's honest. Not to mention cheaper.

*Unless of course you are grossly disfigured. But you're not.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 13:51, closed)

K2k6 is right.
Having bits sag a bit is not that terrible- it's part of nature and inevitable, so it's better to embrace it. Grey hair, wrinkles and having things sag a little is not necessarily unattractive. Having one's face stretched into a permanent Joker-esque leer and having what appear to be volleyballs shoved under your skin is.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 18 Dec 2007, 14:06, closed)

Saggy ain't all that bad
Still got all the right parts in the right places. Its my experiance that women (sorry, don't mean to sound mysogenistic with this) are the ones who complain about things about themselves that a bloke either doesn't mind about them, or finds attractive. Took me ages to convince me gf that even if no one else thinks she's attractive (which ain't true) I still think she's gorgeous and I love her any way.

Its more about the person than the package they come in.
(Teran Thinks Pogonophobia is funny, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 14:45, closed)

>It's a rule of mine never to send pics of my boobs over the internet. Not for all the tea in China matey.
Perhaps you could offer some kind of service over the Royal Mail?

On a more serious note it happened to a mate of mine beyond the age of 39. The woman is virging on medical nymphomania. Mind you, she is quite pert still... Are you sure your bits are saggy?
( dan j the filthy bastard, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 15:13, closed)

How very, very true!
No one warns you that you will hit 35 and then life suddenly becomes exciting...well, actually it doesn't necessarily, but you become excited by it....ahem...

No one tells you that once you're over 30 you start to discover a confidence in yourself which you never had at any point before in your life.

No one tells you that as soon as you reach your thirties you are wise enough to know (most of the time) when a man fancies you...it's not that difficult to tell...you're female, he's male...that's all there is to it really...

Suddenly you no longer care (that much) what people think of you - there is only one thing worse than being talked about...that's not being talked about.

You learn to flirt outrageously and to be able to control the overenthusiastic (most of the time).

You're no longer hearing every tiny tick of the infernal baby clock because generally you've already done that and come out the other side.

You now really make the connection between sex and pleasure...it's no longer about making babies or keeping a man...it's about having FUN!

Once you're out of your 20s most of us can laugh at ourselves - some very, very lucky women manage to do that in their 20s but they're few and far between.

All in all getting older is great...and for me 10 years ago I didn't look as good as I do now - I was a harassed and heavily pregnant mother-to-be of giant twins.

And BGB, I don't believe you when you say you're too old for the young guys...how young? Personally I don't drop below ten or eleven years younger - hugely flattering, but also just on the outer edges of similar cultural experiences. And now due to personal experience, I would rarely go anywhere near a man older than me...but maybe that's just because I'm immature, but then growing up *is* overrated.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 23:15, closed)

Arrrgh
Tis a pity tis true and the pity tis, tis true, dammit. I used all sorts of excuses to put off Mr. Dub when I was young and now I'm eyeing the HS track team and he just wants to be left alone.

Karma (and hormones) stink.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 3:24, closed)

What Chickenlady says
I can personally vouch for!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 19 Dec 2007, 10:10, closed)

Age doesn't matter in the dark, darling
And 42 isn't old!

Thank you all for making me look forward to turning 30 next year!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 15:13, closed)