bomb making
Remember 'Devil Bangers'? They were little crystals of something wrapped in a bit of toilet peper which, when you threw it at a hard surface, made a little bang. But imagine if you could buy hundreds of these thing and empty the crystals - then you could make a bomb!

This was the theory of Richard Baldrick, who, during a maths exam, decided to fill the inside of his digital watch with the crystals [the time-keeping innards had been removed and it was just a case and a plastic face]. And so it was that, during the deathly silence of the test, young Baldrick could not quite close the case that was stuffed with crystals.

So he hit it.

The resultant explosion made a few of us in the remedial class [worst student - Frankspencer] soil themselves in fright. We all turned around to see Baldrick sitting with a stunned expression, and bits of plastic sticking bloodily in his face.

I heard he became a policeman.
(frankspencer, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 17:31, 3 replies)

LOL
Sadly I did that when I was a wee nipper except I tried to make BIGGER devil bangers.

£2.50 and a few hours later I'm sitting in my darkened bedroom with sweat covering my brow and carefully wrapping up hundreds of the little crystals in the bags you get ten-pence mix-ups in.

The first one was ok, a bit rough at the edges but not bad - I was confident I would make an exceptional demolitions expert at the tender age of twelve.

The second one was better - nice and tight with nary a tattered edge in sight. Surely I was born for this!

The third one would be my masterpiece! I carefully collected to rest of the grains and put them on the paper. I started wrapping them slightly tighter this time to ensure an explosion which would scare the knickers of Erika down the road (oh how I wish it did). One final twist and ...








eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


OMG WTF?


*why can't I hear anything?*


eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


:O


*I'm deaf!*


*Arse-tits-buggery-poo-pants!*


eeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


When my hearing finally returned after a couple of hours, I decided that demolitions expert wasn't for me.

Still, I'm a Doctor now and blowing things up everyday, so it can't be all bad.

The first two were shite by the way.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 22:20, closed)

bigger bangers
Our primary school headmaster told us that if we fell over with a packet in our pockets it would BLOW OUR LEG OFF.

Consequently they were BANNED.

So we after pondering his words we attempted to make bigger ones, but they never worked - shame.
(Batemonkey, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 12:27, closed)

Baldrick
He deserves the name.
(Holloway_Girl To err is to be human, to be a fool is to believe, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:55, closed)