the shit song theorum
This is half experiment / half game.

The mission, walk into a pub locate the jukebox and then select the most godawfully dire, terrible or mind-numbingly awful song available, select it and then ask the barman to turn the volume up.

For those pubs with the 3 million song library this can be elevated to almost astonishing levels of nightmarishness, judged purely by the pub clientele

After the song starts playing do you get a) beaten up b) asked to leave c) thrown out d)tolerated e) Stared at by locals until you leave f) the song gets voided, jukebox unplugged, threatened with a beating by the locals and leg it sharpish

Cotton Eye Joe in a goth pub? d) with added laughter and drunken barn dancing

Fabulous disaster by Exodus in a townie shithole in Bangor Wales e) with added extra racial hatred ie "fuck off you english bastards"

T1000 by Fear Factory in a london pub full of suits d) with overtones of e)

sinatra in a very seedy townie pub in Sawston full of men with foreheads you could ski off of f)

apparently my friends played this in Norwich and managed to score a b) c) and f) across 7 or 8 pubs, but couldn't remember the tunes!

Tis good fun, sometimes!
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 14:28, 4 replies)

Better than this...
Set the same song on loop for as long as your money will last or the jukebox will allow. Slade's I Wish It Could Be Christmas, 8 times, in the middle of May at a pub in Bangor.

The bar staff asked us to leave after the fourth time around gained a chorus of "Fucking hell. Again?"
( shadyron, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 20:38, closed)

Also...
I put 'The Intense Humming Of Evil' by the Manics on 5 times in a small inbred village pub a few years back...

I didn't quite get the heroic response I was waiting for as I thrust my hips in time to the tooth-grinding rythmn.

I think someone muttered 'twat' under their breath
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Sat 26 Jul 2008, 10:21, closed)

Jukebox wars are good too.
Down our local student bar its always the same people with a few of the locals, nice laid back place thats quiet and with sound landlord and wife. My favourite thing to do is to waste all my cash on the jukebox.

So when a giant group of rowdy, drunken football fans came in and proceeded to fill the place with non stop indie, my girlfriend and I whent to put on loads of 80's music and heavy metal.

They left after 5 songs.

Winnar!
(Guilt wants to get in your moist confines, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 23:08, closed)

I once accidentally
put on an audio autobiography of the Goo Goo Dolls instead of Black Balloon. It went on forever and the rest of the pub looked annoyed. Luckily it came on a long time after I went up so I looked annoyed too.

I think I got away with it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 14:03, closed)