Nearly a Half Nelson
Flamingoland back in 1995or 1996 I can’t quite remember it was winter so the park was shut with most of the rides taken apart for inspection – the park looks a bit like a spooky, kind of like a haunted scrap yard.

“oi Ninja, Clean that floor and don’t fuck about” was the request given to me by my boss – as a punishment for speeding down the park above the allowed 10 mph in a big blue electric delivery truck (storey to follow in another post). So I set about the minging floor with a steam cleaner.

Next minute there’s some commotion outside – I nip out to see what’s going on and find myself face to face with Nelson the Chimp who has managed to outwit the zoo keeper (not difficult) and slip out of his cage (which has two gates and two locks on each of them) – he’s been at the park since he was one and was then about 40 years old.

He’s a big silver haired bastard of large proportions and I thought ‘oh bother’. Three of us that were in the immediate area ran into ‘Captain Fortunes Table’ a little café near the pirate ship. As we get in we discover to our horror that we don’t have the key to lock the door. Dave – one of the less bright of us thinks ‘I’ll just hold it closed’ and proceeds to crouch down behind the door holding the handle in the upright position.

Nelsons big, black chimp hand appears on the glass of the door – I look at Dave and back to the hand – there’s no fucking way Dave will hold it. So we leg it to the back of the café when Nelson starts to open the door and I shit my pants!

Luckily at that moment another Dave wanders around the corners with some bananas and Nelson decides not to come in a sample the delights of the Captain Fortunes Table.

They finally got him to go back in the cage on his own when the Zoo Curator came around the corner with a stern look on his face and .22 rifle (what was unloaded) – Nelson thought he was going to bust a cap in his ass! Dumbass – no wonder we’re top of the food chain.

He did have a knock at the window as he ran past us though – with a ‘get ya next time twat face’ look on his face.
(Clit Ninja is having a white space party!, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:37, 2 replies)

Just as well it was unloaded
I'd have thought that trying to kill an adult chimp with a .22 rifle would be an almost equally risky proposition for the curator as for the chimp.
(richardm, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:13, closed)

I think it was a tranquilizer gun - but to be honest it could have one of the guns from the pirates cove shoot out game
(Clit Ninja is having a white space party!, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:26, closed)