As a total wuss
I just accepted the occasional mild kicking from the cool kids to hang out with them and gain protection. As such I never got into a proper fight.

I did once get picked to play hockey for the school, because most of the regulars were in detention. It was clear after a few minutes that I was pretty useless, so I was just instructed to stick to their star player like glue and generally get in his way. I was actually rather good at this, and after hustling him off the ball for the hundredth time or so (whilst a wuss, I was reasonably strong) bhe lost his rag and twatted me around the head with a hockey stick, which broke. When I'd got up off my arse I was pretty dazed but landed a single punch to the jaw that put him on his arse. Lucky shot to be honest, i think he was amazed I'd got up again. We were both sent off and I was pulled aside after the game by our PE teacher for a bollocking. This consisted of "Nice punch son, now get on the bus".

We also had a Grange Hill (circa early 90's )style inter-year punch up. Well, pre-punch up posturing anyway. Could have been quite nasty as people came armed with knives, homemade knuckledusters, bike chains and sprockets. The 4th year (in old money) did the sensible thing and hid, although I think one kid got a bit of a pasting.

The next day we (5th year) got called into the school hall. The deputy head went seven shades of apeshit, threatening to involve the police as most of us were 16 and could be charged with affray. Looking back he was clearly just trying to put the fear of god into us. This was largely successful, right up to the moment when some kid farted. loudly. for a good 5 seconds. while sitting on a wooden bench. that reverberated beautifully.

This just led to increased fury from the deputy head, although it was entirely wasted on us. We were all shaking uncontrollably with tears of barely supressed mirth rolling down our cheeks. Eventually he just gave up.
(Throbbe, Fri 10 Mar 2006, 16:11, Reply)