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This is a question School fights

I don't remember much of the fight - it'd been building for weeks, petty things, knocking over my stuff, calling names - but it didn't last long... He hit me, I hit him, then *whack* he connected with my jaw and it all went black.

Coming round, surrounded by some friends, it was apparently "really cool". All I know is my head hurt. A lot.

Tell us about the legendary fights at school.

(, Fri 10 Mar 2006, 10:43)
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silly me
I went to posh wanky boarding school so excuse me if I use some JOLLY HOCKEY STICKS terminology.

Anyway, I was spinning around in the 3rd year prep room with a pair of pliers in my hand.

What I had not bargained upon was the immediate entrance to the room of the year's resident JUG-EARED FOOL (he always used to say 'It's my mastoid bone, leave me alone!'. We always used to say 'Shut up McEars!'. He's an all right guy now and I believe his ears have shrunk).

Anyway, he was universally bullied - once he got locked in a trunk and rolled down the stairs by some vile idiots - but, since I had cerebral palsy (the mild unco-ordinated kind) and a temper, he thought he could get one over on me, and did, often.

The git.

So, I was spinning around, and I accidentally let go of the pliers. And they made a ramrod straight line through the air, on a collision course with this guy's crotch.

He ran at me, yelling and frothing like Thoth the Unavenged.


Bear in mind that as well as having ears like the tits of the old, he was about 4 foot 3.

We then proceeded to have the most laughable fight imaginable. Gnome Fights Tramp. I was flailing my arms in impossibly wide 359 degree arcs and winding up every punch like an overzealous grandfather clock. He was 'concerned about my disability' and got me in a headlock whilst tapping my head very very lightly indeed and whispering insults in my ear.

Imagine frozen ladybirds falling on breezeblocks. That's what it was like.


thesoundoffallinginsects (ouch)


frozenladybirds (ouch)

DIE!!!! (arms)

taptaptaptaptap (ouch)


Then, I tripped over my FILA trainer shoelaces and bruised my rib on a chair.

To add insult to injury about 2 weeks later I broke my own nose trying to punch him. (Yeah, I swung round so far that my bicep hit my face. And I missed).

And then I punched a 6'7'' guy in his (rather spongy, I found) testicles.

And then I bloodied someone's nose, who later found me with my arse stuck out of my duvet cover trying to hide from him.

Oh well.

Apologies for length (of the fight, more than anything else).
(, Mon 13 Mar 2006, 19:02, Reply)

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