The tragedy of Police Academy
Oh Mahoney, can no-one tame your rebellious streak? Will you never find your calling in life? Are your pranks from boredom, or do you deep down want to be punished? Will you forever continue to find comfort from woman to woman? Where will you be when your looks are gone? Where will your friends be then? Are you that self-conscious of your image that you can never relax, never be yourself? Do you hate yourself? Who will cry at your funeral?

Oh Hightower, will no-one see through your beastly physical mass and see the sensitive man within? With a personality so often wrongly judged from your external appearance, do you never hate the person you've grown into? Do you feel as though you are the freak? You are the one that no-one can relate to? It is you at fault for these misconceptions? Will you die alone?

Oh Tackleberry, will no-one point out that your gun obsession is just repressed sexuality? Will you never overcome your crippling shyness? Why will no-one hear your cry for help that you emit when turning to your safety pillow of firearms? Does no-one care about the hours of practice behind your saxophone playing? No-one knows the true you, so why do you bother?

Oh Hooks, is a shout really necessary to get your point across? Is there no room for politeness in today’s society? Do you feel people don't take you as seriously because you're a woman? Why do you only get one angry line per film? Why do you keep repeating history and never learning from the end of the previous film the benefit of your new assertive attitude? Are you stuck in a Groundhog Day until death? Do you want to end it now?

Oh Sweetchuck, will life never be easy for you? You try to live an honest life, yet always others take advantage of you. Will you never win? Why do those who consider themselves your friends end up hurting you the most? At what point will the meek inherit the earth? Why are you cursed with your puny physique? Why can't we all just get along? Do you just want to turn the lights out?

Oh Lassard, will your undiagnosed dementia eventually be your downfall? Why will no-one listen to your calls for help? Why do they not notice your odd behaviour? Is it ageism that makes them believe that this is acceptable behaviour for a man in your position? Will no-one take you seriously again? Is the future all downhill from here? Is there anything you're good for any more?

Oh Jones, will you not grasp your true vocation as an entertainer? Are your cries for attention not enough? Do you crave attention so much because you hate yourself when you're alone? Do you think that unless people are laughing at / with you then they don't like you? When will anyone take you seriously? Will a church organ sound effect of the funeral march be hint enough?

Oh Harris, will your ambition get the best of yourself in the long run? Do you fear others realising your true incompetence eventually? Do you take pleasure from taking exception with particular cadets? Is your obsession with power something deeper? Does it relate to your childhood? Would no-one listen to you? Do you need to be this person to feel important? If no-one respects you, why do you bother carrying on?

Oh Fackler, is your clumsiness genetic, or do you subconsciously enjoy causing others harm? Is that why you joined the academy in the first place? If you pretend your infliction of pain didn't happen, can you get away with it? When will you be unearthed? What makes you want to hurt people in the first place? Will you hurt yourself?

I cried.
( ma0sm, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 15:51, 5 replies)

hehehe
Well deserved first click of the QOTW from me :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 15:54, closed)

Never before
has Police Academy been analysed so beautifully!

*CLICK*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 16:14, closed)

Come on, Mahoney, move it. Move it! Move it
Brilliant. (click)
(sewer urchin wants a hug, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 16:24, closed)

this works
on so many levels
(knackerz is skinning up, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 5:00, closed)

Christ on a pushbike
You've actually managed to make me want to watch it again.
click!
(Alaning, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 23:15, closed)