My brilliant Cleaner
I hate cleaning with a vengeance. In fact I have gone without nights out, dresses, any sort of consumable goods to employ a cleaner. Cleaners are sacrilage, the best people on earth, IF YOU FIND THE RIGHT ONES. I am allergic to dust and so many cleaning products I have to have one.

For years, I have used agencies, friend's mates who need money, even letting a small child into the house (one parent benefit cash jobs)who are unreliable cleaners with fucking problems and a nightmare - but hey ho, Maria, if you are reading this, you have been my best cleaner for all the time you have been with me !* (about 4 years now)

Maria is Bulgarian, very proud, very busy, and very professional and will give you a reciept if you want one. You can't get any space with her if you want your house cleaned and a recommendation I gave to my neighbours up the road, they waited 3 MONTHS to get her. She also owns several properties back at home with her husband and is very successful in her family's opinion.

I have no problem with any eastern european immigrants - she works here, pays taxes and does a very very good job.

No, you can't have her !

Is it obsessive ? No, she just does a job, and good for her, and well worth the money.

*PS : Maria I will up your rate as usual in the summer
( Tiggy the diver, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 23:51, 9 replies)

i had a cleaner once
when i was too ill and far too fat to do a decent job of it myself. i loved having a nice clean house and she used an impressive amount of bleach(seriously, at least a full bottle every time), but fuck me, it was humiliating to have to rely on someone else to clean my home.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 0:25, closed)

I was once a lady who does
I used to clean other peoples houses.
And was rather good at it.
One rather posh family used to go away a lot and leave me the keys to their palatial pad with a request to keep the dust down etc.
If i was bored i'd go round and clean the windows, shampoo the carpets, weed the garden etc.
And also watch their huge TV, make a snack in the huge kitchen and watch the deer in the woods at the end of the huge garden.
Whenever they got back I'd get a huge bonus and a gift or two.
Which was nice
One day the wife turned up at my place and you could see the look on her face that said
'You clean my house but yours is a tip'
Thats because nobody pays me to clean mine ;)
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 1:05, closed)

heheheh
my cleaner was good, but hardly reliable. one day, she didn't turn up. no phonecall, no explanation, nothing. i tried calling her, got no reply. i found out from her daughter a few weeks later that she'd received quite a large redundancy payout from her last job, so she'd decided not to clean for me anymore.
i've seen her on the street a few times, she won't even look at me, the weirdo
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 1:21, closed)

?
Cleaners are sacrilege?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 9:06, closed)

I thought that didn't make sense either
I was trying to make it into a metaphor that made sense but couldn't.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 9:33, closed)

I think she means sacred...

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 26 Mar 2010, 9:38, closed)

yep
that's what I was thinking too...
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 10:34, closed)

Sorry - failed English at school !

( Tiggy the diver, Sat 27 Mar 2010, 15:44, closed)

Bollocks, just looked up sacrilege
Sorry folks, yes I did mean sacred. Going mad as usual
( Tiggy the diver, Sat 27 Mar 2010, 15:43, closed)