Spot the Dirt
A friend of mine has a pretty incredible house which I have mentioned on here before (http://www.b3ta.com/questions/slapstick/post624105).

It's a lovely place in the summer, they have a beautiful garden, and there's always cold beers in the fridge. His family is quirky, but a good laugh, and I get on with all of them really well. However, their house is fucking filthy. This suprises me, mainly because they have such a great place, but also because both of his parents are doctors (I know that isn't an indicator of cleanliness, but I would have thought basic hygiene).

-All of the lightswitches are brown. They just have never been cleaned. My mate calls me a snob, but I genuinely don't want to turn on the lights.

-We once found old yogurt in his dad's keyboard.

-The landing, and 2 bedrooms are full of shit from car boot sales, including (but not limited to) a vast number of retro consoles and games, computers dating back to 486's, a quantity of burnt monitors rescued from a surgery fire around 5 years ago, a giant inflatable palm tree, a sombrero and a spear. It's genuinely difficult to move around the top floor of the house through the junk. I remember once my mate's pet cockroaches escaped from their tank. This did not cause more than a mild annoyance to the household (I think my mum would have moved out)

The highlight for another mate of mine and myself is the cutlery drawer, however. This was the venue for the classic game 'spot the dirt', which amounted to singing 'spot the dirt' to the tune of 'catch the pigeon' from Wacky Races, whilst searching the drawer for miscellaneous food items. A standard game would usually turn up some shreddies, possibly a bran flake or two, and if you were lucky, some bread. Jackpot came one day though when, reaching for a large spoon at the back I uncovered an entire mushroom, which had been festering amongst the utensils for an undetermined period of time. My mate still protests that discoveries like this are 'normal', and i'm just a posh bastard.

Oh, and the house he lives in now has month old cat shit on the floor. Way over the line from 'quirkily untidy' into quite literally a shithole.
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 12:52, 15 replies)

old yoghurt?
oooooooh, you mean Old yoghurt
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 12:55, closed)

you call it yoghurt, we'll call it yoghurt
let's just pretend it was yoghurt
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:59, closed)

I actually meant
in the Spaff sense....

:S

Spellings do not bother me :)
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:34, closed)

From the oracle, Wikipedia
"In the United Kingdom "yoghurt" and "yogurt" are both current, "yoghurt" being more common"

I'm not americanis(z)ed!
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:50, closed)

yoghurt
yeah, right.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:00, closed)

It was pink!

( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:11, closed)

he should see someone about that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:36, closed)

Perhaps
himself
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:50, closed)

perhaps he'd been a little too vigorous

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:27, closed)

Doesn't sound like a bad place to live really
The children probably have great immune systems
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:46, closed)

They do, you're right.
None of them ever seem to get ill.
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:48, closed)

"computers dating back to 486's"
I was wondering what was unusual about that, until I realised the the 486 really is an old processor now.

Thanks, now I feel ancient. :¬(
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:15, closed)

Yeah,
I remember the 286's, with their vast 10 MB hard drives. 640K? Enough for anyone.
( DeadEyeDick, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:34, closed)

I was thinking that
My parents have a 386 that my dad plays backgammon on, and I have my Amiga set up at my house (a bit of R-Type is a great way to unwind).
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:06, closed)

Can't be good having cat shit about the place.
That's genuinely dangerous.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:52, closed)