My boss told me this one
but she had to do it in instalments because she had to go and puke half way through telling me.

Someone she knows and describes as a 'fucking dirty bastard' has a small child, baby size. The baby had a cold and was struggling to breathe so FDB put his mouth around the baby's nose and sucked as much snot out as he could.
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Sat 4 Feb 2012, 21:35, 12 replies)

good lord
Just had a mini-sick there, FDB is a good description by the sound of it
(ChickenChaser chases chickens, Sat 4 Feb 2012, 22:19, closed)

Yeah, what a prick
trying to assist his young child to breath by whatever means necessary. No right to be a parent.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 4 Feb 2012, 22:24, closed)

I have done the same,
babies are not very adept at blowing their nose.
( 4Q just lurking, Sat 4 Feb 2012, 22:28, closed)

i've done similar, but i blew gently rather than suck
(toddler too, rather than baby)
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sat 4 Feb 2012, 22:59, closed)

There are devices out there for precisely this purpose
Example.

However, in the event that one is not available, it's probably better to do it that way than leave the child struggling to breathe. It's hardly the *most* disgusting thing you'll have to do for your child - they can't change their own nappies after all.
( wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Sat 4 Feb 2012, 23:01, closed)

Aye
But you wouldn't suck shite from a baby's arse if it was constipated. I have 2 children and it would never, ever have occurred to me to suck snot from their noses. I'd still have been puking now. The kids have survived very well without me acting as their mucus hoover and they're 20 and 22 now.

And, unless I'm mistaken, babies can breathe through their mouths?
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Sun 5 Feb 2012, 12:15, closed)

They can breathe through their mouths
when they're not feeding. But a baby has to feed quite regularly - and they cannot drink bottle/breast and breathe with a blocked nose at the same time. Problem much?
( Tiffany Aching 's bowl of oatmeal tried to stare her down and won, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 2:20, closed)

Good point, well made
Still made me want to vom though.
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 17:46, closed)

Did this for wee babyblaireau during her first and second winters.
There's nothing quite as sweet as a baby's snot ;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 4 Feb 2012, 23:55, closed)

Bleurgh
I remember the first time I saw someone do this, I nearly puked. I was only talking about it the other day and I nearly retched. I've never been good with other peoples mucus, which isn't great seeing as I work in the respiratory field and quite often have to look at cystic fibrosis and bronchiectasis samples. The smell of those is unreal!
(superfly78, Sun 5 Feb 2012, 11:55, closed)

My boss was telling me this
and gagging as she told me. Halfway through, she had to get up and go to the bog to chuck and she continued the tale when she came back. My guts twinge whenever I think about it.
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 17:52, closed)

I wish I hadn't read that

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 9:57, closed)