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This is a question Fire!

We were all in my aunt's kitchen at the back of her huge rambling Victorian house. I was only small and had wandered off to go to the loo, but given up after finding the hall full of smoke. "That was quick," my mum said after a few minutes. "Yes - it's all smoky," I replied.

I've never seen adults move so fast.

So, like my cousin who'd managed to set fire to the roof, tell us your fire stories.

(, Thu 3 Nov 2005, 9:11)
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A slightly deranged bar owner
handed Big Liam and I roman candles, saying "If you hit my sign with this firework I give you one half free beer for everytime you hit."

I had a go and missed with every flaming projectile, Big Liam calmly sat there, biding his time, drinking his beer and looking slightly spaced out, as did most of the patrons. He'd been sat there for a while, still holding his firework, and I wanted to see what his marksmanship was like.

I calmly held the cherry of my cigarete on his firework's touch paper. He didn't notice the initial hiss, so I thought it prudent to point out his firework was lit. Amidst a torrent of profanities Liam jumped up and mistakenly pointed the wrong end of the firework at the sign.

The firework went off shooting flaming lumps of chemicals in the wrong direction... back into the bar rather than at the sign. It doesn't take alot of imagination to picture 30 or so short and t-shirt wearing patrons playing dodgeball with a roman candle in a small bar. As long as you weren't facing the wrong end of the firework it did seem pretty funny. That was until his girlfriend (wearing a nice pink synthetic top) got hit square in the chest by one of the pretty, hot, bright smokey things. Fortunately all it did was burn a hole in the aforementioned top. No burning synthetic fabrics melting themselves on to her skin, no screams, no rolling someone in the sand or throwing them in the sea to put them out, not even a scratch.

Could have been oh so nasty, but fortunately wasn't.

I've also seen the slightly deranged bar owner hand his 5 year old son a rocket, a piece of tubing and a lit cigarette. The reflection of a rocket going off low over the sea is pretty good, but I couldn't help feeling slightly edgy. I felt even edgier when he showed me some fireworks made out of pottery. Now why on earth would you want to make fireworks out pre-packaged shrapnel?

As far as I know the deranged owner is still alive and has all his fingers. His faculties are still under question.

Remember kids, play with fire, just on the off chance it will reduce the amount of detritus in our gene pool. On the other hand, you might loose your eyes.
(, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 10:33, Reply)

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