Way back when man had just invented fire
A friend of ours (Mark), who’s parents had decided to abandon in Chester at the tender age of 17, while they returned to their native land of Cumbria , decided to lodge with a recently married couple that we knew.

They agreed to this as a) They felt warm and fuzzy helping a mate out and B) Thought that the extra income would help finance their newly acquired love nest.

Okay the scene is now explained, on with the fire incident.

A few days after moving into his new abode, Mark was sitting in the middle of the living room floor filling his Zippo lighter. Upon filling to the brim he proceed to check out his work by lighting the Zippo in the traditional way of every 17 year old at the time , which was by step (1) bringing the lighter quickly down across the thigh to open the case , Step (2) then catching the thigh again on the upstroke to light it.

Well part one and two of this impressive display worked fine, unfortunately a new unfound Step (3) was now to come into play , which consisted of losing hold of the freshly filled and still wet Zippo , leaving it to find its own way down to the waiting carpet and moist lighter fuel container.

Now this was ordinary carpet, no siree , this carpet was a wedding present from the brides parents, an expensive, luxurious floor covering that was designed to last many years in their marital home.

Well, seeing as this question is about burning things you will know what happened next, the result left the wedding present with a 8" round burn mark .

Well what was Mark to do ? Own up and take the imminent shit ? Go out and get a rug on the pretence of a belated wedding present ? Phone up a specialist cleaning firm for advise ? Set up and elaborate scene which would hopefully lead to then thinking that the cat had started the fire by knocking a box of matches off the fireplace .

Funnily enough no , he decided to eliminate the problem removing a nine inch square section of carpet with a Stanley knife . And then the brilliant side of the plan consisted of cutting out another 9" square section of carpet from beneath the settee.

Brilliant plan , no-one would ever notice ..... It was spotted straight away, newly weds were loved up and had not bothered with contents insurance yet . Mark was looking for new lodgings the same evening.
(phildperv, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 8:35, Reply)