Fluid Mechanics
As an alumnus of the early 90s Key Stage 2 program, my sexual education began aged 10 with a cartoon about genitalia.

By my 11th birthday I knew far more about female anatomy and the act of reproduction than I’ll ever know again. I knew about fallopian tubes, I knew about wombs, I knew about ovaries, uteruses and the cervix. I knew that the male genes were carried by sperm. that sperm was mixed with seminal fluid and that both were called ejaculate.

So when my parents forgot to take their VHS of Trainspotting back to blockbuster I recognised the scene where a naked Kelly Macdonald rides Renton as ‘Sex’. Turns out knew bugger all about sex. Why were they so sweaty? Why did they need to pump up and down? Why were they saying things like ‘Uh nearly’ and making it look such bloody hard work? I had assumed the man would insert his penis, deposit the next generation and remove his penis; like a machine filling a donut.

I came to the conclusion that the mechanism of sex was more complicated. The man obviously inserted his penis, began to ejaculate and then had to carry on forcing out sperm until the woman was filled to the top of her fallopian tubes and the ovum had been reached. The passage of the fluid and eventual impregnation would be aided by vigorous pumping, like when I filled my bike tires, hence the sweating, the bouncing and the grunting.

I don’t know when I was disabused of this early belief, maybe when I began to ejaculate myself and realised I would never saturate a whole womb, but it was certainly a big part of my childhood sexuality. Even today if I’m watching porn and the woman shouts something like ‘yeah! fill me!!’ I can’t help but wonder how full she already is; past the cervix? Somewhere near the fundus?
(Asser, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 21:52, 5 replies)

virgin.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 23:06, closed)

Ah crap
You mean I've been doing it wrong all this time...
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 23:11, closed)

You know
I think many porn 'writers' in Japan have the same idea as you. Your theory sounds extremely similar to some hentai movies I've... uh, heard... about. Yes, heard about.
( Bats, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 7:35, closed)

"the man would insert his penis, deposit the next generation and remove his penis; like a machine filling a donut"
I don't know whether to congratulate you, for the accuarte description of my sex life, or call you out, for insulting my wife.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 10:01, closed)

. . .I was at uni when Trainspotting came out.
That's all I can think about now.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 1:59, closed)