Office gobbler - tenuous
I suppose this is vaguely on topic as it is the first unintentionally rude thing I saw in the work place....

It was back in 2003, before riots, the double dip recession and that spastic Russell Brand. Happy days. Anyway, I had a mediocre job for a telecoms company in Manchester as a desk jockey of sorts. Something to do with fibre, fuck it, I can't remember, there was a database and also unlimited internet access....

But I digress. One day, I was having lunch at my desk, along with another dozen or so people in the open plan office. Sat accross from me was a temp who had just started that day, a "big boned" girl of Jamaican descent (bear with me, this is relevant). I was looking over at her, thinking it might be a nice gesture to ask her how she was getting on, it being her first day and all that. She had her mouth full though, so I thought I'd better wait. She was making her way through a large ice cream tub of spicy chicken legs. I watched discreetly at first, as she gnawed, nibbled and then, totally innocently, SUCKED and GOBBLED each chicken leg in turn, slurping and masticating all the way through the box. It sounded like a porno for the blind with the speech edited out. I tell you, those bones were shiny and devoid of all meat when she'd finished with them.
I wasn't the only one to notice and it became one of those times when you have to fight not to make eye contact with your mates, because you know that when you do, the giggles will have you. Unfortunately, we didn't manage to avoid eye contact and there was a certain amount of vaguely controlled guffawing before a number of us had to get out of there and let some belly laughs rip outside. We never saw her again and, if you're reading this, chicken gobbler girl, I'm sorry we gave yout the fear - totally unintentional. We all just wanted to be the chicken legs really, I suppose, Freud might say. No actually, Freud would probably say we wanted to build a large cock out of penguin shit, then have sex with our mothers, but, again, I digress.
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 15:42, 17 replies)

I bore with you, but when does her a being a "big boned" girl of Jamaican descent become relevant?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 15:55, closed)

Because
only black people eat fried chicken, obviously.

Oh no, wait, they don't and OP is just a racist.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:02, closed)

I fear
that it's supposed to be all the funnier because, y'know, black people and chicken, right?! Right!?

*sigh*

Let's redress the balance with some classic Chappelle:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ4B7G8Rw3Q
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:05, closed)

If that's not Rick James then I'm not clicking it!

(likeajackhammer, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:09, closed)

FFS
I was waiting for this. Any mention of colour or creed, in any context, is perceived as racist. I will ninja delete, so that a person of non specified sexuality, gender or race was eating something, which may or may not have been meat, and that the way she was eating it may or may not have been found amusing by other people of non-specified gender and creed. Wouldn't that be a blast?
Seriously though, if I have offended any big Jamaican girls reading this, I apologise and will remove the post. I fear I may have offended only pedantic middle class white folk....
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:06, closed)

but it's true...
unless you made reference to being attracted to women of this persuasion then I fail to see the relevance unless you're saying that only fat black birds slurp chicken...

which is it?
(likeajackhammer, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:08, closed)

Well, Yes. And No. Mainly No.
Because pointing out that she's a big boned Jamaican because it's 'relevant' and because you are then going on to talk about her eating fried chicken makes you a fucking racist.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:11, closed)

Listen to him ^

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:15, closed)

Of course we're the pricks for taking umbrage to your shitty bigoted post.

( Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:12, closed)

'But I digress'
Aaaaaaargh.

It's OK, it's my problem, not yours. I'm seeking help.

*deep breath*
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:01, closed)

Was that on your list of QoTW anecdotes the other week Mr S?

(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:07, closed)

I believe it was, yes.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:09, closed)

Right... let's just get this said right now...
The QOTW is "First" rude thing...

if the first rude thing you saw was at a place of work, then you're clearly some kind of fucking shut in...

if it wasn't the first rude thing you saw, why post it? Wait until there's a "Not the first rude thing but some long-winded story about boobs or fannies none-the-less" question
(likeajackhammer, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:06, closed)

There is nothing shut-in or creepy about this poster
b3ta.com/questions/breasts/post716853
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:10, closed)

1.... 2.... 3.....
BLIMEY!
(likeajackhammer, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:14, closed)

Hahaha, "El Norkmeister"?
So he's a 13 year-old racist?
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:18, closed)

Arf

(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:19, closed)