School
.
I went to school with a lad called Ian Hamilton. I hated him. He was the best footballer, the best high jumper and had smashed the school record for the cross-country course.

The teachers bloody loved him. They lauded him as the Great White Hope and gave him time out of lessons to train. The plan was to have him compete in the County Games and then bask in the reflected glory when he won.

Not if I had my bloody way. I was fed up with him strutting around the school as if he owned the place so I decided to sabotage him.

The day of the County Games dawned and Ian spent the morning doing light training in preparation for his dash for Glory on the afternoon. After lunch he headed for the sports hall to get changed and then it was on the bus to the games.

So me and two of my gang followed him. As he went into the sports hall we grabbed him from behind and dropped a sack over his head and body and tied it tightly. Then we frog-marched him around the back of the sports hall and into the football pavilion. We left him tied to a chair in the changing rooms and scuttled back to class.

And then the shit hit the fan when he didn't turn up for the bus. The teachers were running around like headless chickens looking for him whilst me and my cohorts sniggered in the background.

But the headmaster knew me too well. He knew that of there was any nonsense going down that there was a good chance that I'd be at the bottom of it. So he charged into my classroom and bellowed:

"Legless! - What have you done to Fit Ian?"

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 23:23, 11 replies)

I actually did go to school with an Ian Hamilton
I was going to see if it was the same one, but then it turned out your story was a lie (I know! How rare for QOTW!)
(__, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 0:06, closed)

Like it!
Bastard! Didn't see it coming.





*click*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 0:08, closed)

*groans*
But also well done! Click
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 7:34, closed)

And Legless strikes again...

( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 21 Jan 2009, 8:42, closed)

oh ffs :)
*clicks for effort*
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:01, closed)

Okay, I'll hold the frying pan up nice and high,
you just run into it.

*spang*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 10:12, closed)

your disorder is compulsive
isn't it ?
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 11:11, closed)

Oh christ...
now they've got you doing it as well!

*SPANG!*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:22, closed)

Gah!
Not again :P Nice one
(Procrastinate now! It's not opposite day!, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 20:10, closed)

I suspected a pun quite early on.
*SPANNNNNNNGGG!*
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 21 Jan 2009, 20:58, closed)

I'm loving your work.
Yes, loving. your. work.

Very good
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Thu 22 Jan 2009, 9:52, closed)