So let me get this straight...
the hot guy was the PREIST!!! FUCK ME, that's weird!!!
( SpankyHanky, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:00, 1 reply)

Nah, but could be I suppose. this is the proper story
It is a story about a girl. While at the funeral of her own mother, she met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be, that she fell in love with him there but never asked for his number and then...

A few days later the girl killed her own sister. Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?

Give this some thought for a while before you look at the next line ...

Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:03, closed)

Now obviously I'm not one of them there 'fancy head doctors'
they have in that there 'Harley Street', or whatever...

...but...

I'd hazzard a guess that this is a load of steaming, swinging, hairy old bollocks...

Someone told me one of these the other night. Something about: Two doors. One goes to heaven, the other to hell. Guarded by angels or some other such twattery. You can ask them one question each. One only tells the truth. The other only lies - what do you ask them?

Something like that. These questions do my box in and get in the way of beertime.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:06, closed)

I want the answer!

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:09, closed)

Dunno the answer
Wasn't really paying attention when my mate was going on about it. Too busy watching the footie on the bigscreen and trying to get a sneaky peak down the barmaids top whenever she bent down to get someone a packet of pork scratchings.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:12, closed)

Glad I'm not the only one that does this. Does my fucking head when your mates don't pick up on free titage and carry on boring you to bits about their kids first steps or whatever. :P

Although I may have crossed the line when I started videoing it on my mobile.
( Evil Bastardo, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 11:31, closed)

Ask one what the other would say if he was asked is Door A the door to heaven
If you ask the liar, he would lie about the truthteller telling the truth, so would say no.
If you asked the truthteller he would tell the truth about the liar lieing and would say no.

Then you do the opposite.

/Labyrinth
(TheColonel, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:16, closed)

Damn, you maged to answer first
;)
(ab1kenobe, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:17, closed)

You ask them....
Which door would the other angel tell me went to heaven, and then pick the other door.
(ab1kenobe, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:17, closed)

Hang on
Wasn't that out of the muppet filled film Labyrinth? With David Bowie and Ooooooooooaaaahhh..... Jennifer Connelly.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:11, closed)

Yes!
You say "what would the OTHER door knocker tell me to do" isn't it.

Then the guy says "you chose...poorly". In Indiana Jones.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:17, closed)

Indianna? Wha????...
Sorry, still got images of Jennifer Connelly going through my head...

I have nothing to add to this :)

..............
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:21, closed)

Ahhhhhh !!!
That's fucking PRICELESS !!! My mate's a bit of a nonce to be honest and thought he was being dead clever about this. Next time I see him I'll remind him he tries to look intelligent during pub conversations by quoting films with puppets.

I mean, if you're going to do that the screenplay for Muppets take Manhattan is Oscar winning material. And the one where they were singing a little song on that weird yellow bus driving round Trafalgar Square. Fucking EXCELLENT!!!

Hmmm... do actually feel like digging out a copy of Labaryth from somewhere now...
( SpankyHanky, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:21, closed)

Jen
Jen Jen Jen..... Mmmm Jen.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:22, closed)

Brooke Shields was in Muppets Take Manhattan
Just saying...

Must be some kind of connection between fit women and small furry puppets.

Only logical conclusion: Get a small furry puppet and go out on the pull.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:25, closed)

Yeah, I can see that
"Hey, babe, what to see my furry little puppet?
Or do you want to show me yours?"

So, so bad, it could almost work.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:28, closed)

How about:
"You ever seen Kermit the Frog wrestle with a hard cock?" And before they have a chance to actually compute what you've just said finish up with: "Follow me to the toilets and I'll give you an exclusive private viewing."
( SpankyHanky, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:30, closed)

Thank you Gary Glitter.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 17:31, closed)