Fine Dining
Way back when, I was working in italy of all places. In Rome even, go me!

Anyway, it was December 31st, 1999, and Germanwife and I were going out to the NATO college end of year do. We arrived at 1900, her in a rather nice dress, me in a local suit, and both quite ravening for the multi-course meal promised for 2000 hours.

Little did we know what was to follow. It was not a three- or five- courser, and not a standadr meal, but one of the Italian it's-not-eating-it's-socializing affairs. I don't remember the exact courses, but it went something like this: (10 minutes per course, 10-15 minutes of dancing and speeches and stuff in between):

1) One single thin cut of veal on white bread. Interesting, not my thing. Two bites.
2) A Salad involving olives. Five bites of mostly air.
3) Another salad, this one involving bell peppers and rice. A bit shit. Three bites.
4) Spaghetti with a choice of sauces. Chose Aglio e Olio. Was nice. Four bites.
5) Zampone. Kind of like meat loaf, but stuffed in a hollowed-out pig's foot. V. nice, wife grossed out. Two portions, three bites each.
6) Roast Beef type thing in a red wine sauce. Magnificent. Four bites.

It continued in this way for 21 courses, until 0300.

The first thing we did after, even before going home? Bought a fuckoff-sized pizza with mushrooms, ham, and salami.

Cost of official dinner type thing: About 300 pounds, half for us, half for the German government. Effect of official dinner thing: Magnum bottle of Veuve Cliquot to take home (Dancing competition, we came in third), and a feeling of hunger that steadily climbed to locust levels.
Cost of pizza: About 15 pounds. Effect: A feeling of divine calm as we wallowed in grease dripping from the huge slices.
(GermanGuy invaded on, Thu 27 Jun 2013, 15:50, 6 replies)

Fuck off roger Irrelevent, it's knock-knock jokes this week

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 27 Jun 2013, 15:53, closed)

Hey, fuck you buddy

no offence.

Also, since I'm German and all:
*irrelevAnt
(GermanGuy invaded on, Thu 27 Jun 2013, 15:55, closed)

This kind of thing gets my goat.
I had a similar experience at an evening organised by an Italian cultural association to introduce people to the joys of Italian cuisine. In polar contrast to when I went to Tuscany, ate in a family-owned restaurant in the mountains and engaged in some truly epic face-stuffing, this seemed to have been organised by people whose concept of lasagne was one roughly postage stamp-sized square of pasta with a few molecules of beef and tomato on it, and for whom a salad was two lonely leaves of lettuce with chronic erectile dysfunction. With half an hour between each course, just so we could enjoy the crappy Eurovision-reject singing and dancing on stage.
( .Yeti., Thu 27 Jun 2013, 16:02, closed)

It's frustrating, isn't it?

By now I believe that one is expected to turn up for such affairs at least semi-full.
(GermanGuy invaded on, Thu 27 Jun 2013, 19:24, closed)

So your story is that you're a glutton with no class?
What first attracted a glutton with no class to qftw ... oh ... right.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 27 Jun 2013, 16:28, closed)

Well no. Having not had any experience with poly-course meals before, I expected much food. So I skipped lunch.

Also, I rarely eat breakfast. That dinner was my first meal in a little over a day.
(GermanGuy invaded on, Thu 27 Jun 2013, 19:26, closed)