Anyone got any good jokes?

(hadr0n Craic whore, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 2:31, 9 replies)

You are aware what goes on round here, are you?

(McChinaman banned, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 6:03, closed)

This is b3ta, not mumsnet.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 7:55, closed)

A rabbit was sitting under a tree, when two cows
came along. The cows started climbing the tree.

The rabbit says "Why are you climbing the tree?"

"We're going to eat some apples", said one of the cows.

"But this is an elm tree", says the rabbit.

"Oh, that's OK", says the cow. "We brought some apples with us".
(username failed moderation, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 8:32, closed)

Yes.
Yes I do.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 9:24, closed)

an old lady goes up to a queue of children outside a small stripy tent on a beach.
"Is this the line for Punch & Judy?" she asks
kid says "No, this is the Judy line"
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 9:41, closed)

an infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar
first one says he'll have a pint
second one wants a half
next one wants a quarter
and so on.

The barman puts 2 pints on the bar and tells them to sort it out themselves.
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 9:43, closed)

Two dyslexics walk into a bra

maybe i should get some work done
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 9:43, closed)

The idea that this would be a good QOTW

...made me laugh, anyway.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 10:02, closed)

after my prostate examination
the doctor left. Then the nurse came in. At that point she said those five words that no man wants to hear......

Who the fuck was that?
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 10:30, closed)