So a few years ago, in my travels,
I came across a bald man that wanted a battle of wits. There were two goblets of drink before us, and I took a packet of powder from my pocket, and emptied it into one of the goblets, whilst his back was turned.
The man said, “It's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”
“You've made your decision then?” I replied.
“Not remotely,” he said. “Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.”
“Truly, you have a dizzying intellect,” I returned.
“Wait til I get going! Now, where was I?”
“Australia.”
“Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”
“You're just stalling now.”
“You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”
“You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work,” I said.
“IT HAS WORKED!” he yelled. “YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!”
“Then make your choice.”
“I will, and I choose - What in the world can that be?” He pointed behind me, distracted me and switched the goblets, the slimy bastard!
“What? Where? I don't see anything,” pretending his ruse was had worked.
“Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.”
We both picked up our goblets of wine, and drank our fill.
I said to the man, “You guessed wrong.”
Clearly overjoyed at my apparent gaff, he jumped up, shouting “You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha..."
The man fell over and died. For you see, they were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder. And that was how I survived the food sabotage.
Sincerely,
Westley
(w4I4q1O1 was hard at work on, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 9:43, 10 replies)

Bestest film EVAR

( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 9:58, closed)

Superb
I love that film

I was playing Risk a little while ago, a bit wasted, and my girlfriend had been attempting to take Asia and failed. I then proceeded to recite the following

You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha..."

and fell over.

I was so pleased with myself...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 10:03, closed)

*clicks*
and ^^ too

Genius!
(TuftyBee should have been working on, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 16:27, closed)

Name?
What is the name of the film?
(StyX is staring at you, yes YOU!!!, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 12:00, closed)

The Princess Bride
With Mandy Patinkin, Andre the Giant, Fred Savage,Peter Falk, and Billy Crystal
(w4I4q1O1 was hard at work on, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 12:23, closed)

Hello.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 13:36, closed)

Hello
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
(calamarain just invented dehydrated water, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 1:12, closed)

Hello
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
( MatJ LOOK, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 19:23, closed)

Hello
My name is John. I'm happy to serve you.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 19:43, closed)

Is it bad that
that I only got to the two goblets before it sparked recognition?! Bloody love that film so much!
(Ryfelwr can't stop here... this is bat country, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 17:25, closed)