Yoghurt
So a female friend of mine had some kind of funghal infection in her ladybits and the doctor had told her the best way to deal with it was to apply natural yoghurt. Said ladyfriend started off dribbling a teaspoonful in, then a desert spoon with some light rubbing, then a cupful massaged in, you get the idea. She found it was a very pleasurable sensation and even after her infection was cured would regularly pleasure herself with a carton of yoghurt.

So having told me this while being, ahem, intimate, she suggested we should try sex with yoghurt as a lubricant. I couldn't think of a reason not too, so she liberally applied yoghurt to her parts and I plunged in. And yes, not at all unpleasant.

But there are some disadvantages:
- never fall asleep after sex with yoghurt all over you. It stinks.
- never have yoghurt sex when it's very hot. It goes all lumpy and looks like puke.
- never have yoghurt sex if you're very hairy. You can't wash it out and your genitals will smell like a dairy for days if not weeks.
- never give oral sex to someone who's got a hairy minge and has been wanking with yoghurt the whole summer.
(Smale is stuffed, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:45, 6 replies)

God No
never give oral sex to someone who's got a hairy minge and has been wanking with yoghurt the whole summer.....MIND BLEACH please for the love of Glod!
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:57, closed)

*bolks*

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 17:00, closed)

..
- never give oral sex to someone who's got a hairy minge and has been wanking with yoghurt the whole summer.

had me chuckling like a loon
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 17:12, closed)

do what I did
blow it up there with a straw

then drink. drink to forget.
(DissolvedMynci, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 18:45, closed)

Ergh.
"- never give oral sex to someone who's got a hairy minge and has been wanking with yoghurt the whole summer."

Oh god, I can almost taste the stench.
(Scritty Bakerman., Thu 6 Aug 2009, 22:10, closed)

this
has made me want to scrub my tongue raw with a brillo pad by association just from having read it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 23:08, closed)