Oh no, why did I have to remember this?
I am somewhat of an insomniac. I used to wake up my ex at 4-in-the-morning to entertain myself, which usually resulted in sex, before he fell back to sleep and I had to go to college.

Well one day he thought that coating the outside of his cocksock in yoghurt would be genius and his plan was to lick it back out afterwards. All ok until he got bored of licking and decided to plunge back in, he finished rolled over and went to sleep.

I showered, Went to college pumped full of man fat and yoghurt I don't know how I didn't spot the mistake. Sitting in a lecture I felt it. Shit. The sticky mixture was coming back, the bastard. I left quietly to find a toilet but they were rebuilding, running now I went upstairs, through what felt like miles of corridors. Why did I wear a skirt? I finally got to the toilet, a little too late to save my undies but just in time to stop the salty concoction running down my legs.
I had to catch the bus covered in my ex's homemade yoghurt recipe and shame. pant's rolled up in bag. That was the most unerotic experience of food sex, ever. I dumped him not long after, but not before spraying the same mixture over his precious car. But that's another story.
(MissUnexpectedNuttering Mad to live, Mad to talk, and burn, burn, burn...., Sat 8 Aug 2009, 13:01, 3 replies)

Spraying his car?
Wow- you must have good muscle control.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Sat 8 Aug 2009, 13:49, closed)

it's dem dare vagina tings

bloody marvellous yokes... if only we could kit them out for military deployment...
(The Cats Twat, Sat 8 Aug 2009, 14:11, closed)

lol :)
No, blow job, then de ol' prenteding to be a fountain trick. He loved his fucking car. I swear he thought about it when he was fucking me.

But I do wish I could do that ping-pong ball thing, not for sexual purposes. Just looks fun.
(MissUnexpectedNuttering Mad to live, Mad to talk, and burn, burn, burn...., Sat 8 Aug 2009, 14:55, closed)