Oranges with cloves
Got invited to a medieval feast by some medieval re-enactment friends - 12 courses, lots of mead, singing etc. all very good fun. Before the first course, we were told (warned?) about the oranges with cloves stuck in them that had been placed on the tables. The idea was to pass the orange with cloves in to the person you want a kiss from, they take a clove out, you get a kiss and the orange is passed on. An orange with just one clove left in it is an invitation to bed.
After a quick scan of the hall, I realised that 1) there were much fewer women than men, meaning I'd probably be in demand (whether I wanted to be or not) and 2) this being the medieval society, a nice big bushy beard seemed to be the order of the day.
Immediately after this, I got a surprise orange from one of my (thankfully un-bearded) friends and not knowing quite what to do in these sort of situations, ended up having an unintentional snog across the table. The guy sat next to me witnessed this, decided that I must be a bit easy (I can assure you that I'm not) and offered me an orange too. He went for the mouth, I directed him to the cheek, and he completely missed.
I felt very very sorry for him and offered him another chance. He got my cheek this time, and then thought he might try his luck with a girl he worked with and liked very much. I wished him well and he returned a minute later, still with the orange, saying that she'd refused. Said girl compounded the insult by coming over a bit later and explaining in a very patronising way that it wouldn't be right since they worked together and she didn't want to make things awkward.
Very unlucky guy.
Got a few more oranges during the rest of the feast, thankfully avoided getting caught up in anyone's beard, went home via friend's house carrying an enormous marzipan chess set. Good times.
( Peapod Has returned to the fold on, Sun 9 Aug 2009, 16:17, 9 replies)

do you have a pony
called Pepper, or Muffin or Mr Binky

just asking
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 9 Aug 2009, 18:47, closed)

No
Am scared of horses and ponies, and can't afford one anyway
( Peapod Has returned to the fold on, Sun 9 Aug 2009, 21:36, closed)

stunned
no really, stunned

one more question, no two..

1) irony: discuss
2) what are you doing here
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 9 Aug 2009, 22:40, closed)

Well I am rather stunning
And I'm here so that you can have fun making judgments about me based on my QOTW answers
( Peapod Has returned to the fold on, Sun 9 Aug 2009, 22:56, closed)

and i have read them all
more questions

merkin?

christian?

virgin?
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 10 Aug 2009, 0:19, closed)

spimf,
calm down man.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 10 Aug 2009, 6:28, closed)

hmmm, ok
no offence meant

(she does sound a bit loopy though)

*apologises politely to peapod*
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 10 Aug 2009, 15:41, closed)

Ok
*Accepts apology*
( Peapod Has returned to the fold on, Mon 10 Aug 2009, 20:44, closed)

Try again
English
Not really
None of your business!
( Peapod Has returned to the fold on, Mon 10 Aug 2009, 14:24, closed)