Don't worry
sitting with a group of people I vaguely knew in the pub, one of their friends comes in. She's clearly very upset, and the next 10 minutes are spent with her tearfully recounting the ongoing complications with her fathers advanced and aggressive cancer.
"Don't worry", I piped up with a big grin, "it could be worse"
Silence descended
Then she fixed me with a stare I will never forget and asked, "how?"

I got my coat
(kaptinkurtz, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 11:05, 10 replies)

Always reply to that question with "You could be chased by wolves"

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 11:09, closed)

Wolves with cancer ?

( dogfish, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 11:12, closed)

Cancerous Wolves
Best of all the Radiohead albums.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 11:16, closed)

Or herrings with AIDS.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 11:22, closed)

I'd take a chance at outrunning a cancerous wolf

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 12:11, closed)

Thing is, though - while that is both scientifically and morally the correct response
I bet they'd be all humourless about it.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 11:26, closed)

Trufax - I've never seen a wolf laugh

( dogfish, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 11:29, closed)

You're telling them the wrong sort of jokes.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 11:47, closed)

Miserable cow, coming into the pub when everyone's having a good time and bringing everyone down like that.
No consideration for the feelings of others, selfish bitch.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 11:30, closed)

Was the coat your lucky blue one?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 18 Aug 2012, 10:13, closed)