My wife was annoying me one day...
...so whilst we were watching telly, sat on different sofas and not having sex again for the 1000th time, I said matter-of-factly:

"You know, I don't really think of you as a woman anymore."

She is now my ex-wife. Fortunately, she was a miserable bitch, so it all worked out alright in the end.
(CharminglyShallow incarcerated for a crime he probably did commit., Wed 22 Aug 2012, 11:10, 12 replies)

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 11:16, closed)

That's her right there...
...looking all sexy in her Nora Batty hat.
(CharminglyShallow incarcerated for a crime he probably did commit., Wed 22 Aug 2012, 12:34, closed)

You were married to Jackie Stallone?

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 16:26, closed)

Sadly
I can empathise with this.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 11:22, closed)

The trick is...
...not to let it get to that point.

Easy to say in retrospect of course. Did you ever wonder why she was so miserable?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 11:37, closed)

I too, wondered about the cause, and finally worked out...
...it was because she had breasts and a fanny. Or she was evil. It was one of those things I'm sure.
(CharminglyShallow incarcerated for a crime he probably did commit., Wed 22 Aug 2012, 12:19, closed)

You, of course, were never less than a blameless, wonderful husband and a gentleman at all times.

(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Wed 22 Aug 2012, 12:48, closed)

I don't remember...
I think I was out busy murdering children or something at the time.

...but actually, now I come to think about it, yes I was. Completely and utterly, bent over backwards, totally loving and forgiving. She rewarded this by cheating on me. Hmmmm, perhaps I should've been a complete bastard after all...seems to make a lot more sense now...
(CharminglyShallow incarcerated for a crime he probably did commit., Wed 22 Aug 2012, 13:12, closed)

Oh, welcome to QOTW by the way
What you need to do is to put the back story up front or take the consequences.

...or take the consequences even if you DO give us the back story first.

But, really: welcome.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 13:40, closed)

I demand to be treated with the same contempt everyone else is!
...thank you for the welcome though. :)
(CharminglyShallow incarcerated for a crime he probably did commit., Wed 22 Aug 2012, 14:07, closed)

Contempt for other posters is mandatory.
I'm sure it's mentioned somewhere in the unwritten rules of qotw.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 16:12, closed)

My immediate suspicion is that you are some kind of awful internet liar.
Otherwise why would you be here?

Welcome.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 22:01, closed)