A bit of a cheat, as I wrote this a good couple of years ago...
...but it pertains to the question, as its about what I found when I moved into a new flat with friends:


"Lies. Years and years of propaganda and lies I’ve fallen for, and I only realised it properly yesterday. I am here today to officially ‘out’ girls as being disgusting, filthy individuals.

Now, before anyone gets upset, I am not saying that men are not filthy. We are. Left to our own devices we will happily live surrounded by beer cans, pizza boxes, over flowing ashtrays, weeks worth of dirty socks in a stinking rotten cess-pit of a house. I know that all too well. We only shape up when we have to share with women, because we believe that they are so sweet smelling and clean and fresh and lovely.

This is not true. They are not.

I spent the last couple of days moving into a flat that was previously inhabited by three women. It was supposed to be cleaned before we turned up, but it hadn’t been, and I spent most of Wednesday throwing out all the stuff that they had left behind.
I can not even begin to tell you what an eye opener it was. Dirty knickers, unwashed bras, tampons strewn under the beds and furniture, sanitary pads every where, thrush cream and an applicator in the kitchen (KITCHEN!) drawer, 100’s of magazines everywhere, including porn I might add, dust, dirt, rancid food in the fridge. Did I mention the thrush cream? In the Kitchen?

We have been deceived. Women who live in single sex groups are every bit as disgusting as men who do the same, the time they must spend tidying up and pretending to be nice when we are around is incredible. All these years of buying into the lie that I’ve been through. All those years of suffering at the hands of women who are actually every bit as bad as me, worse even, because they are deceitful with it.

Well, NO MORE. You have been rumbled, women, never again will I stand staring at my shuffling feet when being admonished for being a ‘disgusting male’, now I know the truth, I am empowered, I am free, I AM MAN, I AM FILTHY AND PROUD OF IT, HEAR ME ROAR!

And honestly, the kitchen? I mean, for God’s sake, Why?

EDIT: Two hours later -

I’ve just had a phone call from one of my two flatmates, an old friend from my Uni days. He was in the bathroom and he noticed the side panel of the bath looked a bit loose, so he had a closer look and realised it could be pulled away from the bathtub itself. Inside was a plastic bag, so he pulled it out and opened it up. Inside, to use the exact phrase he just used ‘is a fucking foot long rubber cock’.

Nice.

I wonder if it was communal."
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 14:44, 9 replies)

i've never claimed to be cleanliness personified
not that i'm dirty, just that i'm a scruffy fucker, which is NOT THE SAME AS BEING DIRTY. i don't like dirt everywhere, but piles of clothes all over the bedroom floor are normal, as are piles of opened mail in the bathroom. yes, i read my mail on the bog, it's right by the front door. the women in my family are obsessive compulsive clean freaks, so i tend to rebel.
however, when it comes to dishes, i'm as bad as they are. i refuse to buy a dishwasher as i don't trust them to get the dishes clean enough.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 15:00, closed)

Tongue...
...was very firmly in cheek when I wrote that, sorry if that's not clear.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 15:03, closed)

There's a ring of truth to this.
Whilst at uni I shared a house with 2 other girls. We never ever used to hoover and as we all had long hair, after a while you could rub the carpet with your hand and get a huge ball of hair up. In fact you could hardly see the carpet pattern under all the hair. The shower plug was always clogged up with hair and the tv screen was barely visible from the layer of dust ontop. Mind you, are male counterparts were much worse. They had slug trails all over the living room floor and we never ever went into the kitchen for fear of breathing in dust particles from food detritus left around.
( girlinthehole, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 15:41, closed)

This is very true
Bloody long hair gets everywhere - I have to clean out the plughole every few days.

Yuck.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 16:46, closed)

I have little sieve-like gadgets
to put in the plug holes to catch hair and stuff. Saves a lot of trouble.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 6:47, closed)

no worries
a clean house is a sign of a wasted life ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 15:52, closed)

my friend told me
about a (young) gay guy who kept cats. And once someone went to put something in his bin - and found several dead cats in there.

So there's another 'neat myth' exploded.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 15:43, closed)

if it was communal
maybe the thrush cream and applicator were too...
(Inflatable Aardvark, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 23:13, closed)

and...
So was the thrush!

...

Eww
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Sat 8 Nov 2008, 11:45, closed)