I've found
that I am a popular target for pranks at work.
Said pranks include :

Being tricked into eating hot sauce - and nearly choking on it because I had such a violent reaction.

Constantly having people creep up behind me and grabbing me and going "BLARGH" in a really loud voice. I usually drop whatever I'm holding.

Also - I'm also a popular target for the short, lesbian jokes.

I'll get them back one day. I so will.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:15, 9 replies)

I impart to you my single best practical joke - the Water Hammer
Get one of those small inflatable squeaky hammers and fill it with water. If you hit them at an angle it usually splits the hammer open. Make sure you get a really cheap nasty one to make doubly sure it splits.
(GONEism, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:16, closed)

I
love you.

Marry me. Then tell me where to get one. that is just gold!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:21, closed)

Aaaaah
But you'd only divorce me once I revealed the location of the hammer. I found mine as a free gift on a Simpsons comic.

I hasten to add I'm not 12 - we used to stock the magazine in the library where I worked and the free gift always "went missing"
(GONEism, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:24, closed)

Flolloping
Invented by Stanley Unwin. Hear it on the Small Faces' classic LP Ogden's Nut Gone Flake.

You have not been charged for this call.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:34, closed)

Just wait
until they are sitting on the bog in a cubicle.

Then throw a bowl of water over the top, and turn the lights off on the way out, whilst almost certainly laughing you brains out.
(dchurch bah, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 11:22, closed)

How short were the lesbian jokes?

( snee held his breath since, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 13:26, closed)

it's in reference to my stature
I'm around 5'3. and everyone else is really tall.

they're disappointed I can't fulfill their dreams of being a "walk in blow job".
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 11 Nov 2008, 5:45, closed)

well
All in all a walk in carpet cleaner isn't exactly a bad thing either...
( Allisade would love to hear from you, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 17:42, closed)

that
is what I said :D

The looks on their faces : Priceless.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 12 Nov 2008, 23:27, closed)