Sweary Jr is turning into me (poor soul!)
My mother is the undisputed, long-standing queen of Scrabble in our family. Being extremely well read and having an extensive, pedantic vocabulary, for years she has whooped the ass off any potential rivals.

About a month ago, Sweary Jr whooped her ass. He had the obligatory "shit", "wank" and "arse" on the board. His winning word was "quim" - landing on a triple word score with the "Q" on a triple letter square.*

That's my boy.

She gave him £5 for his tactics.

*EDIT/
I stand corrected - triple word score with Q on a double letter square - I'm crap at Scrabble. Good at beer though....
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:46, 12 replies)

Good lad!
Nice to see you're bringing him up proper, like.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:58, closed)

Yup
She even went to check the dictionary, before conceding the game!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 Apr 2009, 20:10, closed)

I am deeply glad that you have reproduced.
I don't say that often.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 20:35, closed)

Much as I like this story
The triple word squares don't line up with the triple letter squares. He could have had a triple QUIM with the Q on a double letter square.
( le brian, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 20:49, closed)

double letter
surely?
(gtfomh, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 20:50, closed)

This reminds me of
this XKCD cartoon. Anyway, I'm glad your family doesn't have those unwritten Scrabble rules we have in our family. Once when playing with my dad and gran, I had a beautiful word lined up, but my dad placed a word that blocked mine. I ended up in the situation where my highest scoring possibility was 'cunt' (as in "You cunt!"). Any chance I can be adopted by your family of zombified jezebels? That would be just squiffy!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 22:50, closed)

Welcome to the family!
Would you like to be a son, sibling, or a complicated cousin? ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 23:13, closed)

I'll be
the bastard son of the milkman.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 3 May 2009, 13:53, closed)

le brian & gtfomf
You'll be right. "Q" must've been on a double letter square, for he definitely hit the triple word score - he reckons he got 72 points, I think? Not having witnessed the game myself, and having not played Scrabble for some years I stand corrected :o)

I'm shit-scared of looking like a twat when I play - working in a school and all that, my folks take great delight in pointing out my mistakes with their metaphorical red pen.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 23:10, closed)

Yep
From memory, U and I are 1 point and M is 2. Q is 10 but it's on a double letter score, making 24 before the score is tripled...

I don't even play the game! Why do I know this!

*Sobs*
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:15, closed)

LOVELY!!!
Ha! I once used 'frottage' in a game of Scrabble with the girlfriend's parents... really wish I hadn't after I'd put the fucker down...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:12, closed)

This is a truly touching story.
Reminds me of the time my then two year old dropped a toy and muttered "shit".
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 2 May 2009, 7:22, closed)