Not a ginger anecdote.
The other day I had to call out a British Gas engineer as we had no hot water or central heating. After about 10 mins of him doing stuff in the airing cupboard, I heard him walking about. Then I realised that he was going into each bedroom to bleed the radiators.

What's wrong with that? I hear you ask.

Earlier that day, I was putting away some clutter, primarily old computer components and I thought the best place to stash them was in the bedside cabinet. It just happened to be the one that contains the marital aids. So I stuck all the stuff in there. When I heard the engineer in my room, it suddenly hit me that I could not remember at all putting away the sex-toys after putting the other stuff away.
I had this vision of him having to step over things to get to the radiator.
For the rest of his visit, I couldn't look him in the eye and as soon as he went I sprinted upstairs to check. Fortunately, I had put them away.

Probably my biggest 'Phew! Thank fuck for that' moment in a long time.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:18, 13 replies)

I wonder if he looked in your draw anyway
and found, essentially, your porn collection and toys neatly arranged for later use?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:21, closed)

Porn?
Who has hardcopy porn nowadays? Surely the internet has made the top-shelf spangle-pamphletry redundant
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:23, closed)

I meant the harddrives etc
Had a rather strange image in my head. Ignore me, I've been working too hard and think I've sprained my brain...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:26, closed)

drawer?

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:25, closed)

drawcabinet.

lol
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:27, closed)

I've always thought they'd be loads of demand for a new range of Transformers toys
Robots in disguise.

That transform into dildos, flesh lights, cock rings and butt plugs.

There's a market out there. Could make someone a fucking millionaire, that could.
( SpankyHanky, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:23, closed)

If you could somehow combine that with Lego Mindstorms,
you'd have a robot which knew you needed a wank before you did.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:24, closed)

Jesus, that's good!
And it'd create a breed of super-intelligent toys that might go on to take over the world (whilst providing a little essential mastabatory relief at the same time).
( SpankyHanky, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:27, closed)

My mate confessed
that when he was a teenager he tried to build a hand-cranked wanking machine out of Technics Lego but all that happened was that it kept nipping his skin and snagging his pubes in the gearing.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:29, closed)

why the fuck
would anyone do this?

nevermind confess to it later on?!
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:43, closed)

I took the engine
out of a vibrator and soldered a mains transformer to it (well an old Nokia charger to be accurate). Does that count?

There's no worrying about batteries running out but it does mean that it's on full power all the time, (though that does make her twitch in an amusing way).
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:28, closed)

All the time?

Crikey.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 14:50, closed)

More usefully it shifts the main gets hot bit out of the appliance, I thought that shaving with a crap electric was pretty nasty after a few minutes of rubbing when it got hot, surely anywhere further South would diminish the fun rather quickly.
(Benzyl, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 17:32, closed)