Mormon Drive-By
One lovely Sunday afternoon I was having a walk when a car pulled up next to me and wound down it's window. Thinking that they were after directions, I moved towards them. As soon as I was close enough, I noticed that there were two young men dressed very tidily who also happened to have nametags.

My heart sank.

"Hey man, how's it going?" This guy had more enthusiastic energy than a million informercial hosts.

"Pretty good, just out for a walk" (FuckofffuckoffFUCKOFF)

"Cool, cool. What are you listening to there?"

"Uh, Beastie Boys."

He considered this. "Hmmm, funky!" I wish I could convey how hilarious he looked and sounded when he said this.

He then moved onto the usual "Have you accepted Jesus into your life?" bullcrap (for the curious, I'm an agnostic, mainly because I don't like organised religion, but each to their own) while his friend, the driver, just sat there with a huge, insipid Guy Smiley grin.

My usual response to guys like this is to walk away, so I did. The cheeky shits crawled behind me in the car for a few minutes, trying to get my attention. They gave up when they realised they'd worn out their welcome, but it still left me feeling a bit odd.

Is nowhere safe from this simpering idiots?
(ElGranto, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 22:06, 3 replies)

Clicked
for the title. It made me imagine Mormon rappers who are able to marry all their bitches and hos.
(tubeman trousers, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 22:45, closed)

Ohhh....having a WALK.
I misread that first line a couple of times. Now this seems a whole lot less weird.

Nowhere is safe.
(Helixdaunting, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 23:45, closed)

I'll be looking over my shoulder from now on
It'd be typical of the specky gits to intrude on a decent hand session.
(ElGranto, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 23:35, closed)