I nicked this from Urban Dictionary...
...but wanted to share it with you B3tards.

Christianity

The belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...
( Chum Gnomesky Nom Chompsky, Wed 25 Mar 2009, 23:37, Reply)