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My pal inspects factories for a living, and I shall take his expert advice to the grave: "Never eat the meat pies". Tell us the best advice you've ever received.

(, Thu 20 May 2010, 12:54)
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If you want a tatoo then wait for at least a year to make sure you really want it.
Tatoos last for life. 1 year isn't much in comparison of living with a crap tatoo for the rest of your life.

Also, always double and triple check spelling and design and keep checking while it;s ebing done as 1 mistake and it's ruined. (I know a guy with 2 4 pointed "5 point star"s on his elbows.)
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 0:58, 22 replies)
I can't decide…
Is that end bit sort-of funny or a fail?
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 1:09, closed)
I know a guy in Brisbane
Hardcore heavy metal fan and slightly light on in the intelligence department who has an assortment of tattoos relating to his love of music. One day he decided to go hardcore and get a pentagram on his forehead... yes, his forehead... but no respectable tattooist would do it.
Eventually he found someone and off they went.
He now has a Star Of David on his head.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 1:27, closed)
Oh and I forgot
It's all blurred and scarred now because he's been trying to invent a "tattoo deletion fluid".
It's not working.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 1:29, closed)
Urban legend?
I've heard the story that a guy got a Japanese tattoo of his name only to find out that it actually reads "I have a small cock" when translated...
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 3:26, closed)
Check spelling
"it;s ebing" ?
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 4:24, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/goodadvice/post729814
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 7:35, closed)
Hahahahaha dear gods you're boring.
Put a Coldplay album on and have a sit down. Maybe you'll cheer up.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 13:44, closed)
Amorous Badger has a severely limited worldview?
Who would have guessed?
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 14:35, closed)
I'm just trying to help people save pennies in these straitened times.

(, Wed 26 May 2010, 16:01, closed)
Exactly; severely limited worldview. Blah blah saving money blah blah.
You sound like a Tory. I bet you want to lick David Cameron's sweaty places.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 17:25, closed)
Would it help if I told you that after setting fire to yourself the NHS give you lots of MASSIVE DRUGS?
I mean, you won't get a Honda driving supermodel uncle that wanks you off but every little helps right?
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 18:18, closed)
It would certainly help me to go and get a tattoo instead...
...but then I'd do that in the first place. One of my main rules in life is only to set fire to things that aren't me.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 22:20, closed)
That was the exact inference that I drew from his posts.
you dolt.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 18:34, closed)
I’m commenting opposite a man, he knows nothing, he talks all the time, the result is he’s a trenchant buffoon.
He has no idea how to present television shows, he looks ridiculous in that fashion wear. He swans around all the time hoping that people will recognise him, when in fact nobody’s even remotely interested. He’s taken up enough time on this site already and he hasn’t even opened his mouth. God knows why he’s here, I’ve nothing to ask the guy. And for all I know he may be a cocoa-shunter too. Wormulus.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 22:30, closed)
I AGREE WITH BADGER'S REMARK, AND I'M JMG!

(, Wed 26 May 2010, 16:13, closed)
GET IN!

(, Wed 26 May 2010, 16:13, closed)
Did you mean 'tattoo'?

(, Wed 26 May 2010, 8:00, closed)
I've had two tattoos, both I wanted for several years before getting them done
I had them done by my best friend of 20 years, who also happens to be a professional tattoo artist as well as a really good artist artist. He has a particular loathing for five-pointed stars, being as they are the dullest and most common form of tattoo it's possible to have - he'll do about 30 a day, all on twats who think they're being "individual". I love my tattoos though, I'd had them planned for years and they're exactly as I wanted them, so no regrets there.

Conversely I had a piercing done while blind drunk and it went in wonky :(
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 9:04, closed)
A career criminal in Mansfield
The night before a court appearance, a professional scrote decided to tattoo his forehead with a profanity just to cause offence and upset the judge.

He self tattooed looking in the bathroom mirror and was really pleased with his handiwork.... that is, until someone pointed out he had written the word TNUC.

So in summary, good advice is:- Don't Be A TNUC
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 11:49, closed)
What absolute bollocks

(, Wed 26 May 2010, 18:35, closed)
Actually there's a much simpler solution.
Don't bother waiting a year, you'll probably just forget. If you really want to make sure you want a tattoo...

Design it yourself.

It's as simple as thinking for yourself! Come up with and draw (or loosely sketch if your skills aren't up to scratch; you can always describe it to the real artists who are going to be inking you) your own design, and you're putting that year's worth of effort and thought into it in concentrated form. You'll soon have decided if it's the deign for you.
Plus, let's face it, anyone who walks into a studio, points to a pic on the wall and goes 'derr I want dat wun' deserves all the regret they get.
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 13:15, closed)
I (sort of) did this.
When I wanted to get my first tattoo done I was on holiday in Spain and had no access to a printer, so I brought my laptop into the tattoo parlour and just showed the guy the picture on the screen. He drew it out freehand in a couple of minutes and did a bloody amazing job.

Side note to this story: I was back in Valencia a couple of years later and wanted to get another piece done, but I'd lost the guy's business card, so I spent a whole evening wandering around the quarter looking for him. I didn't find him but did find another parlour, so went in on the offchance that the artist was working there now. When I showed the owner my tattoo to see if he'd recognise the artist he said "Oh no, that wasn't done here - it's much too good."
(, Wed 26 May 2010, 14:36, closed)

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