I once met the man of my dreams *sighs*
And do you know how he reeled me in?

His resume.....


Dishes I can cook expertly:
-marinated chicken shish kebabs
-chicken cacciatore
-eggs benedict
-stuffed breads (sausage bread, spinach bread, etc.)

I can cook just about anything else you care to name, or make a reasonably close imitation.

Other domestic talents:
-laundry
-dishes
-sweeping/mopping/vacuuming
-keep a clean bathroom
-keep a very clean kitchen

More "masculine" abilities:
-change my car's oil
-do most minor work on my car
-can use power tools to build things and have them come out right, without injuring self
-can use chainsaws, winches etc
-know how to properly use an axe
-know how to split firewood properly (this does not involve an axe, it involves a splitting maul)
-can identify most trees and know a lot about them
-can identify many animals and birds and know a lot about them

Sensual talents:
-can give a good massage
-can go down on a woman and make sure she orgasms
-know how to use various "toys"
-know how to properly use ropes (without causing injury or discomfort)
-know how to be a dominant (I use "safe words" and keep a close eye on my sub for signs of something going wrong)
-know how to be a submissive (switching sides can be fun)
-know how to give anal without causing pain and injury
-love to snuggle close after
-can cook an excellent breakfast the next morning

How's that for a start?


I don't know why more guys don't do it.


Edit - I nearly forgot....he also made an astonishingly good cup of tea.
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:42, 13 replies)

And,
was he all of the above?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:44, closed)

hmmmm?
sounds a bit needy
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:45, closed)

Unfortunately yes : (
Still I have something with which to measure all men *laughs*
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:46, closed)

A ruler?

( le brian, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:49, closed)

Sounds too good to be true, BGB.
I reckon he used those chainsaws for nefarious reasons ;)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:54, closed)

PAh!
I can do some of that stuff.
(Rich T has a clever and witty sig, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:59, closed)

Hmmmm.
Let's see...

Cooks- check.
Can take care of himself- check.
Is mechanically inclined- check.
Knows about the woods and about chainsaws- check.

Okay, who the hell's been imitating me?

(I'm not even going to go anywhere near that last section...)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:00, closed)

It's obviously not a merkin.
(Edit - I nearly forgot....he also made an astonishingly good cup of tea.)
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:03, closed)

I'd be very suspicious of the last section
"can go down on a woman and make sure she orgasms"?

Sounds like Keith from The Office to me.
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:38, closed)

Jeez
I'm male, 100% hetero, and yet he sounds dreamy.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:42, closed)

So
where is he now?
(Sickpup, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 22:11, closed)

hmm
"-can go down on a woman and make sure she orgasms"

because there's nothing a girl requires for sexual satisfaction other than exact physical manipulation that worked on another girl.

This line would make me suspicious. In fact, that whole section would make me suspicious. I wouldn't date him until I'd TRIED the breakfast and made sure it was up to scratch.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:27, closed)

what was his address?
i could do things with a man like that!

well, one thing, anyway...
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:40, closed)