According to my mate's missus, I am so disgustingly amoral and greedy I may as well be the devil incarnate.
She believes this because I've worked in the killing room of a slaughterhouse (she's vegetarian and big on animal rights, but still quite happy to eat fish), on the production line at Fox's Biscuits (she's into self-sufficiency and regards mass-produced food as evil capitalist poison), and most recently in the labs of a health and beauty manufacturer (so naturally this means I routinely poison and mutilate cute little rabbits and puppies, even though I work in product formulation and the company doesn't carry out or commission any animal testing.)

Naturally, whenever we're in a social situation together I take the time to be particularly civil and polite to her as it winds her right up.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 22:26, 3 replies)

If you really want to wind her up
Tell her that you put real babies in the baby lotion. She'll freak
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 23:15, closed)

Nah, she won't fall for that.
Babies' melting points are well over 80°C and the homogenisers aren't powerful enough to shred them properly, not even at full speed. Even if it went through the fillers without getting stuck in the nozzle, you'd wind up with tubs full of charred skin and fingers, and they'd definitely fail the micro tests.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 23:26, closed)

You could claim that they're in the "with juicy bits" bottles
instead of the "smooth" ones?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 9:42, closed)