Hacking the company payroll to find out how much everyone was earning.. Twice. Allegedly.
In both cases it was apparent that my older but less experienced colleagues were clearly earning a LOT more than I was for doing the same job.

The first time some new guy had come in to the company on an inflated salary and it became apparent he didn't know his arse from his elbow. I confronted my boss and told him I knew exactly how much 'Nobby' was earning. When he narrowed his eyes and asked 'how?' I lied that he'd moaned about how much tax he'd paid that month and I'd done the maths to calculate his income.

Even though I knew to the penny how much this guy earned my boss denied it. I still got a £2k payrise from it though.

The second time (at the same company, damn their payroll security sucked) I found out that a colleague was earning a lot more than I was but I had a dilemma. I wanted the lovely salary increase but really really needed to keep my job and didn't want to start going and making ultimatums.

My best man came up with the plan one drunken night.

I simply went in to my boss, theatrically wringing my hands with concern, and told him that I had a dilemma. I'd loved my current job so much I had never applied for any other job, but I'd been head-hunted and had a job offer I could hardly refuse due to the amount of money they were offering.

I knew the company couldn't do without me and that netted me 5k payrise and a token promotion to justify the rise without upsetting my line manager.

Hmm. Looking back I don't think I've ever netted an inflation busting payrise without lying through my teeth. Woo.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 12:41, 6 replies)

A click for the "did the maths" story
We had a self-satisfied millenial in an associate position who came in and told that story about being wooed by a competitor, smugly sure she was going to get a big fat raise out of it.

Instead of the supervisor panicking, he jumped up and congratulated her on such a fine offer, and said he was putting the head of HR on speakerphone immediately so they could plan for her last day and make sure she got a good start at the new place!

Of course, her story was true. But she didn't know that we wanted to get rid of her!

We still laugh about that one.
( kila is reading clocks upside-down as usual, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 12:51, closed)

Don't ask, don't get. *click*
(Simian Typewriter Supplies Pty. Ltd. is house hunting in the neighborhood of infinity, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 13:01, closed)

You know that making a false representation, dishonestly
with an intention to gain, retain that which you already have or cause someone else to lose something is a fraud right?
( WormuIus, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 13:42, closed)

Is this B3ta
Or the Daily Mail?
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:16, closed)

Wrong
Saying, "I'll leave if you don't give me a raise," is not fraud.
( Scrumper, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 15:35, closed)

That's interesting.
Tell me, how does it relate to this story?
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Sat 16 Apr 2011, 16:24, closed)