Way back when
Well, about 17 years, 2 months and 4 days ago, probably about 1am, I had just had massive sex*. As Mrs SLVA fell into a troubled, unsatisfied sleep, I got the post-coital munchines so I crept downstairs and looked in the fridge. We had some eggs.
'Excellent' I thought, ' I'll make myself a fried egg sandwich.'. So I dug the pan out, made my sandwich, ate it and then pondered some more. I was still a bit peckish. So I did another. And then another. And so on. In the end, I had had 6 fried egg sandwiches. Even not counting the egg, that's a hell of a lot of bread.

There's an old saying. It's harder to get a camel into heaven, then it was for me to shit through the eye of a needle the following day.

*Massive as in 'twice in 7 mins'
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:39, 8 replies)

You should have separated the eggs
and made some meringues and custard.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:47, closed)

"I crept downstairs separated some eggs and made some meringues and custard" doesn't sound greedy, it just sounds a bit la-di-fucking-da. I lived in a shit neighbourhood, turning your telly off when you wasn't watching it marked you out as some sort of toffee-nosed twat. Never mind separating eggs, that would've made the neighbours run me out of town.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:53, closed)

You'd have been the envy of the homeless hostel with all your meringues and custard.
There are few better ways to make friends with violent alcoholics than a nice bit of Eton Mess.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:58, closed)

I can't say
I have Eton Mess.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 23:02, closed)

you don't want to be there when they discover it's not
sherry trifle.
(sarcastic fringehead feet of clay, buns of steel, head of lettuce, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:37, closed)

That gets a click for the eye of the needle line :)
It made me do a proper real world lol there :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 23:50, closed)

A click from me
for the 'troubled, unsatisfied sleep' line! Genuine LOL!
(Mao's stepson is doing his bit for East/West relation's, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 4:07, closed)

You should have
washed them down with some R Whites Lemonade.
(username failed moderation, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 8:47, closed)