My Gran's Funeral
My Gran passed away a year or two ago, and as she was a Roman Catholic, we had her funeral at the local Roman Catholic church.

The Priest realised that many of the people may be unfamiliar with the Roman Catholic method of conducting a funeral service, and so kindly informed us of how Catholics conduct services:

"For those of you who do not know, us Catholics, sometimes we sit, sometimes we kneel, sometimes we stand..."

II must admit that I wasn't listening intently to what the Priest was saying, but what he said above caught my attention. In fact, in my head, a rogue imagining of what he would say next appeared, which was this:

"... and sometimes we get on down and shake our booties!"

Now, in a funeral, with my dad crying next to me, my mother attempting to comfort him, and all my immediate family positioned around me, biting down on your fist with laughter is somewhat frowned upon. I had to get a tissue from my pocket, and pretend to be sobbing, which worked. I think.

Hell? It's perhaps the least I deserve...
(General_Manchego, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 21:23, 7 replies)

"sometimes we sit, sometimes we kneel, sometimes we stand, depends on the altar boy."
(Darramouss Powered by Monster Munch and hate., Mon 26 Jul 2010, 21:30, closed)

Oh fuck...
Thank God I didn't think of that instead... Luckily at that point b3ta had not yet fully corrupted me!
(General_Manchego, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 21:31, closed)

^ That's where i thought this story was heading...

bugger.
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 7:45, closed)

^and that's where I thought this was going^

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 8:59, closed)

The first rule is:
You do not talk about paedo club.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 9:21, closed)

The third rule of paedo club is
ordaining women is an equal crime to fucking kids in the arse and then lying about it. Consistently. Deliberately. Specifically. For decades.


I do not like the RCC.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 11:42, closed)

Pretty sure that it is
roaming catholic, because they are like the gypos traveling about the countryside stealing children.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 13:44, closed)