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This is a question Guilty Laughs

Are you the kind of person who laughs when they see a cat getting run over? Tell us about the times your sense of humour has gone beyond taste and decency.

Suggested by SnowyTheRabbit

(, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:19)
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In which Chickenlady confronts feminism, cultural differences and naughty boys
These days it seems rare for me to post on Question of the Week and in fact I thought this week would be another no show from me but then yesterday I was down in Ramsgate on the beach with the Chicken Nuggets (my sons - 12 year old twins) and this gave me something to write about....


So, yesterday it was warm but overcast - a grey sky which matches the grey pallor of most of Ramsgate's chav population. We had walked down the high street past a group of young women pipe-cleaner thin, covered in 'Chinese' character tattoos, Elizabeth Duke bling and the very best that Sports Direct and Primarni can provide. Each had the obligatory snotty nosed, dead eyed baby or toddler Calpol-ed to keep 'em quiet until the next refill of Maccy D's.
What a stuck up cow I've become
Anyway, I'm walking down the street towards the beach with my two sons - one of whom is muttering, 'Chav, Fat Chav, Old Chav, Skinny Chav, Dog Chav, Baby Chav' as we pass the Carbrini clan, the other boy is silent but his eyes say just one word, 'BOOBS!' As we walk on so we hear the Chav mating call sent out across the street to a young man, "You wanna come 'ere and say that? You facking caaant!"
All of this against a backdrop of Pawnbrokers, Poundland, Newsagents, formica tabled cafes and a lingering smell from the fishmongers. A fishmongers! You can't say Ramsgate isn't on the up!

We reach the beautiful sandy beach - Ramsgate has a beautiful sandy beach generally overlooked by visitors who are put off by the town's current dilapidated state and prefer to go a few miles down the coast to Broadstairs which has kept its Victorian charm and remains the jewel in Thanet Borough Council's crown of seaside towns untouched as it is by poor furrin types and beloved by Cath Kidsonesque DFLs.
The strand is almost empty; a group of slender, hairy and tanned Euroteens on an exchange holiday (they come in their millions every summer), an all female Afro-Caribbean family with very young children (probably DFLs revisiting their childhood haunts), a couple of Mediterranean looking families - dad wearing a pork-pie hat and looking like Angel from Dexter while playing in the sea with his small son (probably also DFLs), two Orthodox Jewish families and the only pasty, white British people on the beach - us. An unusual mix but being the middle class white liberal that I am, I took pride in the fact that we were all there for the same reason - to enjoy the sea, sand and.... overcast skies. Family time.

The Nuggets ran off down to the sea and gave me time to observe our neighbours - the Orthodox Jews. I had mixed feelings about seeing their young son run around in swimming shorts while their three daughters were all fully dressed in black tights, grey pinafore dresses, and long sleeved black tops. Likewise the father was just changing from t-shirt and shorts in which he'd been swimming, back to his traditional black suit and shawl, yet his wife and mother remained dressed like the girls and also wore dark turbans to cover their hair. His wife in particular struck a lonely figure - she was wandering along the shoreline looking like a L S Lowry stick figure against a wide band of grey-blue sea. The children all behaved as children do, however, laughing, whooping and splashing in the water and the girls edging ever closer to the Nuggets.
I stopped worrying about cultural differences and the Position of Women in Orthodox Jewish Society vs. the Position of Women in English Chav Society and instead watched Nugget #2 drawing or writing something in the sand. I quietly applauded myself for producing two 'nice' boys, well-rounded personalities, kind and gentle and here was one being creative on the beach - perhaps he was recreating something he had seen on Art Attack - that used to be his favourite television programme when he was younger.
Oh Chickenlady, haven't you remembered that pride always goes before a fall?
Yes, I thought, everything was right with the world and here on this beach only a few miles from France we had a microcosm of international society and culture and we were all getting along nicely.

Until the Orthodox Jewish father wandered over to his daughters who were shyly smiling at the Nuggets and looking at the artistic creation Nugget #2 had made in the sand. The girls looked questioningly at their father as his tense face glanced down at the image. His heavy brows knitted together and the gathering clouds darkened - I'm guessing it's the same face Moses made when he saw the Israelites worshipping the Golden Calf. The girls in their grey and black outfits were rapidly removed and the family began to pack up to leave the beach but not before casting a few disgusted glances towards both me and the Nuggets.

Did they somehow sense my disapproval of covering up their daughters - they kept their black tights on even when they paddled in the surf - surely every child should be allowed to know the feeling of sand between the toes? Did they sense my unhappiness at the freedoms afforded to the father and son but not the mother and daughters? Did they guess at my internal battle - torn between the middle class liberal notion of Multiculturalism and heartfelt sadness of the failure of feminism?

Or did they notice the guilty laughter of my sons?

Guilty laughter caused by drawing in the sand a fifteen foot spurting cock with hairy seaweed balls.
(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 13:02, 16 replies)
How reassuring
that boys will be boys.

Nice story.
(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 13:13, closed)
Whats a

Also was it a big uncut cock, or did the nuggets 'make it jewishly correct'?
(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 13:20, closed)

DFL - Down From London

Jewishly correct.
(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 13:35, closed)
No, not quite.
"Daaahn frum Laaahndan"

Is the correct vernacular.
(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 14:24, closed)
for clarifying. I was wondering too.

I was a DFL two weekends ago and stayed in a bizarrely wonderful hotel that was also a museum and headquarters of the local crown green bowls club...
(, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 12:09, closed)
International incident
I blame the parents. How else would they know how to draw so well . . .
(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 13:31, closed)

(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 13:51, closed)
Picture Of The Willy?

(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 13:59, closed)
Didn't take one
I was too scandalised. I rubbed some of it out with my foot and dragged the boys off the beach.

I'll never be able to buy the Guardian again.
(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 14:12, closed)
She rubbed some out... made me leak my coffee out my nose that did
(, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 5:51, closed)
Knowing the nuggets as I do
I can't say I was in the slightest bit surprised.

(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 14:25, closed)
know the nuggets carnally?
(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 15:16, closed)
don't be a twat.
(, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 12:07, closed)
Well, they clearly take after their mother...
(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 17:47, closed)
Lovely post
I've hardly had the time to even read QOTW recently, but this has made it worth while.

Best use of seaweed for some time.
(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 17:49, closed)
Laaeeez an geennnnmuhnn
We have a WINNAH!

(, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 19:52, closed)

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