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This is a question Guilty Pleasures, part 2

It's been a while since we last asked this question and CaptainFellatioNelson's confession that he likes "to fart under the duvet, creep in and see how long I can last only on the fart air contained within" reminded us just how good it was last time.

What are the little things you do for fun when nobody else is around?

(, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:48)
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I’m so ashamed…

There’s a pub I go to…I’ve mentioned it before on these hallowed pages a few times. I go there way more than I should...but it’s not for the reasons you think…

This pub is a shithole, choc-full to the brim with the lowest lowlifes imaginable. From the hideous old slappers and scrawny tarts covered in slag rash (lovebites), scutter stamps (those oversized tattoos just above the arse), slut wellies and fake designer clothing…to the rough-looking ex-cons, grizzly old timers and tracksuited spotty wannabes…All of them dripping in the finest chunky jewellery Elisabeth Duke has to offer.

Dodgy deals, robberies and general crimes being planned around you are commonplace. Fights kick off left, right and centre. The place is a hive of iniquity and villainy, and everybody there drinks to forget their debt swamped, dole-sponging, pitiful, pathetic and pointless existences.

I go there because of the smug sense of satisfaction I get by being around these people. I listen intently and with false sympathy to their depressing tales of chav-ridden woe…about their bad decisions, how the world has dealt them an unlucky hand, how their boyfriends / girlfriends abuse them and treat them like shit…and that if it wasn’t for the cigarettes, alcohol, bling, various drugs, numerous scams and illegal shenanigans, they would’ve ended their miserable lives long ago…

I, on the other hand, have a good job, a nice car, no debts and a wonderful loving family.

HA!
(, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 11:05, 8 replies)
Pub
You must drink in the same place I do
(, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 11:46, closed)
What pub is this?
I think that there are numerous interesting betting opportunites that could be developed in such an environment.
(, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 12:58, closed)
I truly understand
I know the pub to which you refer, 100% accurate description mon brave!
Luckily as a very modest drinker (the ONLY thing I'm modest about) I don't get the beer goggle effect that makes the gap-toothed kappa wearing scrawny slappers look appealing.
I do get the feeling of superiority though, a hollow feeling as being superior to the patrons of aforementioned pub is pretty easy!
(, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:31, closed)
Sounds like my kind of place.
You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious...
(, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 17:03, closed)
I used...
.... to read Take a Break for just the same reason.
(, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 20:07, closed)
No one brings anything small into a bar around here.
They all started out with bad directions.

And the girl behind the counter has a tattooed tear, one for every year he's away she said. Such a crumbling beauty, but there's nothing wrong with her that $100 won't fix. She has that razor sadness that only gets worse with the clang and thunder of the Southern Pacific going by.

As the clock ticks out like a dripping faucet till you're full of rag water and bitters and blue ruin and you spill out over the side to anyone who'll listen...
(, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 20:38, closed)
POOFLAKE YOU CHEEKY GIT....
...I've got a tattoo on my lower back and I'm not a scutter OR a chav!
(, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 15:27, closed)
I just hope for your sake that you dont happen to tell the ol' .."there is this website I go on..." stories
and have given away the site and username;)
(, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 9:13, closed)

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