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This is a question Guilty Pleasures, part 2

It's been a while since we last asked this question and CaptainFellatioNelson's confession that he likes "to fart under the duvet, creep in and see how long I can last only on the fart air contained within" reminded us just how good it was last time.

What are the little things you do for fun when nobody else is around?

(, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:48)
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Swearing at kids and getting kids in trouble. (not my own kids of course;)
1. Swearing and Supermarkets:
don't you just love those parents that let their kids run amok in a supermarket whilst they are in another aisle trying to find the cheapest shit they can?
If these kids even come close to getting in my way I like to say something along the lines of "Fuck off out of my way you little fucking brat. And put that shit back on the fucking shelves where you found it!"
I have found that they usually dont say anything to their parents as they think they would get in trouble. It makes me feel even better If I catch them with their parents in another aisle later on so I can pull faces at them.

2. Kids in cars & trouble:
Oh, this would have to be my favourite form of amusement on any journey. The best way to get the little blighters in trouble is at traffic lights. You need to be in the lane beside them and pull up so your window is directly opposite theirs (them being in the back seat of course). Pull a cheeky face at them, they will pull one back. Repeat this one or two more times progressing from cheeky to rude. Then poke up your middle finger at them, 9 times out of 10 they will do it back, sneaking it in so the parents do not notice. This is the tricky part.... you have to stick both of your middle fingers up at them and dance around a bit without getting their mothers/fathers attention. By this stage the kids are so into this face pulling rude gesture game they are playing they will try and out do you by pulling faces, dancing around, sticking their fingers up at you and acting like a right mong.
Naturally the previous actions cause the parents to notice as they are bouncing around like mongs on speed making rude gestures at strangers.
Should you get caught looking by the parents simply give a WTF? look and look ahead again mouthing the words "fucking brats".
Extra points are awarded for being able to laugh at the kids once the parents have stopped beating them and are looking forward again.
This game can also be played when travelling behind a car with 3rd row seats and at the supermarket with kids in shopping trolleys.

I do:)
(, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 10:03, 3 replies)
you work in Jersey?
(, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 10:17, closed)
I did not work in Jersey.
(, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 10:33, closed)
I'm gunna have to try these sometime, I love the way you've fine tuned the car game to an art form.

When i'm bored in tesco I pick up something like Nuts or Zoo magazine (any soft core porn will do) and wait until I see a mother and son shopping, (this works best when the son is about 9-12)then wait until they are both distracted and dump the mag into their trolley, the mum notices the naughty mag and thinks her son put it in, then i sit back and enjoy the telling off/arkward conversation that follows.
(, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 10:58, closed)

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